Love stings
by MathemagicianSVU
Summary: The BAU team gets a case about women being targeted apparently random, with a very strange MO. In the meantime, Emily struggles with her feelings for JJ. -Rated M for future chapters. Femslash, Emily/JJ.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, I recently found out Criminal Minds is a very great series, and I'm totally hooked on it (I watched two seasons in less than two weeks), and I'm totally addicted to JJ and Emily and the whole Jemily thing (I read a few fanfics, and they're so great together!), so I got this idea of a story in my head, and I thought I could give it a chance. Well, I wrote some stories about L&O:SVU and GA, but I don't know if I proved myself worthy enough to write about Criminal Minds, but if you just tell me what you think about it, I will consider writing another chapter ^^ Well, just let me know what you think of it and enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. This story may content rated R material in future chapters, so if you're against that, I'll suggest you don't read those chapters. ^^ (If you love Will, I suggest you wouldn't read it at all. I don't like the guy, I'm sorry XD)**

**By the way, this story takes place end season 3, begin season 4. Just before JJ isn't allowed to work in the field because of her pregnancy anymore, just after the episode she admits her relationship with Will. Well, enjoy :)**

**A/N2: So, I noticed there were a few errors in my story. I fixed them! :)**

_**Chapter I**_

She stretched her arms as she was taking a look at the clock. It said it was almost ten in the evening. She had to work overtime almost the whole week now, and she was sick of it. She did not want the job in the first place, but she had to work, otherwise she would probably be homeless by now. So she guessed it was just fine doing the job. It was not that hard. Not compared to what she studied for. Although, she could do better than this, just being in the office all day, processing numbers, she actually did not want to.

She'd never been the kind of ambitious hard worker. When she studied at the university, only a couple of years ago, she did not want to do anything for it. She was just really smart, which got her through the whole thing with straight As. People were always a little jealous of her being this smart and not doing anything for it. Her friends were full of awe, because they studied so hard for such lesser high grades as she got. She kind of felt sorry for them, but at least they were ambitious to do something. She had never had that drive.

So, now she was sitting here, working late for a job she did not even care about. The reason she had to work late, was that the company where she works was in serious trouble when it came to money. The company had to cut in their payments, but mostly in their number of employees. Her job was at stake, and she could not risk being fired, so she had to work overtime. She exhaled a deep breath, before breathing out again. Her stomach was boiling with appetite by now, so she had to go out, get some food.

Maybe she was just calling her roommate, ask her if she wanted to order some food. She considered her options as she got her stuff together. She finally decided to call her roommate on her way home.

Ten minutes later, she was leaving the building behind, walking to the bus stop. She checked the timetable, and saw the last bus that evening went half an hour ago. Silently cursing, she decided to walk back home. It was only a few blocks anyway, but she did not like to be out on the streets that late. She sped up her pace as she felt the unaddressed feeling that she was being watched. She threw a quick glance over her shoulder, but she saw nothing. She heard nothing. There was nothing out there, but still she was scared as hell. She dialed her roommates number to tell her the plans of that night.

"Okay, see you in ten." She ended the call by hanging up. She still had the awkward feeling that someone was following her lingering over her, but she decided not to feed her suspicions anymore by glancing over her shoulder every ten seconds.

She was only halfway her way home, when she heard something. This time it was for real, because when she turned around, she felt a hand covering her mouth as she was about to scream. But only muffled sounds came out. Nobody heard her. Nobody would hear her.

"If you call for help, I will slit your throat." A raspy, ragged voice breathed in her ear. It really gave her the chills. The man was strong, she figured. She tried to fight him, but he did not let her. He kept her easily in control.

She did not even think when she bit down in his hand, the man withdrawing it as fast as possible. The moment he loosened his grip on her, she bolted. She ran as fast as her body would allow her to run. Years of practicing soccer would help her right now to escape the bastard who was trying to harm her or whatever his plan was with her.

For a few seconds, she thought she had escaped, until she felt something smashing into the back of her head, and everything went black.

* * *

Emily was sitting in the plane, leaning with her head against the cold window. Her head hurt, so it was kind of a relief to cool her head a little. She closed her eyes for a moment, when she noticed someone was taking place in front of her. She opened her eyes again, and met Morgan's eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asked. He looked very concerned, but then again, he was her partner for almost two years now and it was kind of his job to care about her. She shrugged.

"I don't know." She answered, trying to avoid his gaze. She did not know if she was okay. Sometimes, cases just really got to her. Especially the ones with children. They just could not defend themselves, and there should have been a whole life ahead of them, they would not be able to explore anymore.

"You can talk about it, you know. It helps." He offered, still trying to lock eyes with the brunette, but clearly failing. She was just too deep in thoughts to really pay attention to the man. After a few seconds, maybe minutes of silence, Morgan broke the silence again. "Sometimes, you are a book written in a different language, Prentiss."

The brunette shrugged again. "I learned to shield my emotions when I was pretty young. I guess that's still part of me." She looked out of the window again, down to the lights of the houses she was not able to distinguish from each other.

She thought of all the people who were wandering through the streets, who were sitting in their living room, watching to the television with their families, or people in restaurants, having dates, exchanging quick glances, or people who were even 'sealing the deal'. She thought of all the people whose lives did not only content the brutalities that her life contented. People who could walk across streets, without knowing what some sick minded people are capable of, without knowing what some psychopaths think, understanding it.

She wondered if she could be that person. A normal person, sitting on the couch with a lovely husband, and three beautiful kids she just tucked in their separate beds, telling them bedtime stories, other than the stories she got to know every day. She would tell them stories about princes on white horses, saving the damsel in distress, not the stories about women being tortured, because some mentally disturbed person was impotent and the only way to get off was to harm those women.

* * *

The woman opened her eyes. It was very dark, but not dark enough not to see anything anymore. She was sitting on a chair, and her arms and legs were strapped to the chair, so she could not move. When she tried, the straps cut her flesh and it started bleeding, so she decided a little panicked that she should not try that again.

She tried to scream, but the walls reverberated the sounds of her voice, which made her scare even more. Nobody would hear her scream. She just thought she was left alone there to die, when she heard the creaking of the floor. She heard steps coming closer, but they were from her back, so she could not see who was approaching her. The man.

"Nobody will hear you." A steady voice with a familiar accent spoke. She saw the man entering her sight in the corner of her eyes. There was something familiar about the man, like she saw him before. And not just once, but more like she saw the guy on daily basis. She could not place the feeling.

"Why are you keeping me here?" The woman asked. She tried to sound steady and calm, but instead, she sounded like a chicken ready for slaughter. She knew what was coming. This was going to be her ending. Not a happy ending. She saw this in movies. When the bastard showed his face, you were done. There was only one thing that could save you in that moment, but she could not count on that.

Nobody would hear her scream. She had the silent hope that her roommate would have called the cops by now, but unless they knew something about this guy, they were not going to find her on time. She would just be another case on the pile of homicides. One of the faceless people they had to investigate, dig into her life to find something useful to catch the perpetrator. She even doubted they would ever be found. That was probably the worst nightmare; not being found. When someone went missing, you just did not know if the person in question was still in life or not.

But still, she got the feeling that she was not going to live. With this guy, she just knew she was going to die. She did not want to, but unwanted thoughts crawled into her brains. She thought about the people who were going to miss her. That would not be a lot of them. Probably her family. She did not have much friends. She did not have a boyfriend either. That thought was depressing her on so many levels. She should not be thinking about death. In these kind of situations, you had to figure out a way to escape, not a way to die. The instinct of a human being should be to wanting to live, to do everything to stay alive, not to find out a way to make it as quick as possible.

"Are you thinking about a way to escape? Or are you just thinking about your life? What you've become? What you did, or did not do? What you regret doing, or not doing? I'm curious. Tell me. I wonder what it is like to be perfect, aren't you? Or don't you think everything turned out that way you wanted it to be?" The man in black was talking slowly, but very clear. His accent made the words sound funny in some way, although she did not think it was funny at all. She was scared to death.

Then she reminded who the man was..

* * *

She snapped out of her thoughts as she felt Morgan sitting down next to her. "So, are you going to tell me, or what?" The handsome man next to her asked. She looked up at him and frowned at the question.

"Who says there's something up?" The brunette asked, still not quite out of thoughts. She was still floating around in her imagination. She wandered off, thinking about a certain blonde, working at the same unit as she did.

She knew it was wrong, and it was pretty prospectless, since the other woman was not even gay or bisexual, but still. Emily had known she was bisexual since she was just a teenager. She had never told anybody, though. Only her past female lovers knew, in some way. Her partner did not know. Or at least, she had not told him. Maybe he knew, because he is quite a good profiler and would have figured it out by now. But for as long as Emily could say, she had not given it away. She kept her glancing at the blonde low, so people would not suspect anything, but her partner knew her better than that.

Sometimes she was scared he already knew, like she already knew JJ was seeing Will LaMontagne. Some things did not have to be told to be clear. Some things told their story all by themselves. So far, no one had ever questioned her sexuality, so she thought people would not think about her having a crush on the communications liaison either.

"Well, you're sunken in thoughts for about ten minutes now, not talking to me and just looking outside. So I guessed there was something you wanted to talk about. But I sense that's not the matter here, so I will back off right now." He winked at the dark-eyed woman as he stood up and walked away to listen to some music, or whatever he was up to.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm not sure what you would think of this one. Well, enjoy!**

_**Chapter**** II**_

The next Monday half of the BAU team was sitting in the bullpen, working on some small cases or doing something else. Emily was just really tired. She did not catch a lot of sleep that weekend. She was lying awake at night. She could not quite figure out what kept her awake, but she was worrying about JJ. She did not look happy with the things going on with Will. Since they admitted to the rest of the team they were together, JJ was being weird, like something was up.

Emily did not quite know how to handle the situation. She did not want things to be awkward between the two of them, because that could seriously affect their teamwork. She did not know if she had to ask JJ about it, or if she was not quite the friend for her to do that. But she also figured that none of the other team members would do it. She decided to wait, and see if things got better by themselves, without her help. If JJ needed it, she might ask it herself.

A few weeks later, in New York during one of their most stressing and important cases, Will made JJ tell that she was pregnant. It really explained a lot to Emily, but she still did not know what to do with it. Instead, she would just be glad for her friend that she was pregnant. But still, she seriously doubted if the blonde even loved her boyfriend. She did not get the opportunity to ask her, until they got a new case.

"So, we got three different women from Ohio, who were kidnapped and found three days later, left for dead in secluded areas. The first victim is Stacy Robinson, a primary school teacher. She was found two months ago at the side of the highway. There were bruises on her ankles and wrists, and also around her throat. Cause of death is probably strangulation. Puncture wounds where found in her neck, along with some odd red marks on almost her whole body. but they differ from the puncture wounds.

The same goes for the other two victims, Lauren Mellow, shop-assistant and Iris Boswell, a lawyer. They were found aside a highway with the same injuries as the first victim. The first victim was found two months ago, the second about five weeks ago and the third two weeks ago. The police of Toledo suspect another incident within two weeks maximum. There is a possibility that the fourth victim is already kidnapped. In that case, they need us to fly in immediately.

They have no leads, because there were no connections between the people in question and there were no fingerprints or DNA found on the bodies. So far, they think it must have been personal, because they had their wallets with them when they were found." JJ informed the rest of the team in the conference room as they thumbed through their files.

"And they have no idea what the red marks are?" Morgan asked the communications liaison, frowning with frustration. It looked like they were going to be on the plane in an hour.

"They have ideas, but they will fill us in once when we get there." JJ answered, flipping through the rest of the photos. "The plane is ready, we'll go in an hour."

* * *

An hour later, they were in the plane, discussing the case.

"So, we got a teacher, a lawyer and a clerk. At least, all of them have public jobs. All of the mid-twenties, so the unsub will probably be mid-twenties to begin-thirties too. They're white, so the unsub will most likely be white too." Morgan stated.

"Owns a secluded building or house where he can hold the women for three days, along with a van or another vehicle big enough to ship the women to and from the address he takes and mutilates his hostages." Reid adds.

"To do that, he needs a great amount of money. He'll probably inherited it, or has a well-payed job." Prentiss finished Reid's argument.

"The unsub is well-organised. He left the victims aside the highway, probably driving on it, until he knew he wouldn't be seen or recognized. He probably dumped them at night. There are no witnesses to the abductions, so those must have happened at night too." Hotch added, before there was a moment of silence. Everyone seemed to think about another thing to add.

Reid flipped the photos of the victims between his hands, while analyzing them. He frowned as he compared the marks. "It's rather odd." He paused. Everyone stared at him right now.

"What is, Reid?" JJ asked, after she thought the silence had lasted long enough.

"It seems all of them are stung. By wasps or other insects. I guess it's been wasps." He flipped through the photos again, laying them next to each other on the table, pointing at the marks. "You would think they are puncture wounds, because there's one in the middle of the spots. Those are the places the wasps stung. The red mark around it is the allergic reaction." He paused. "It's different from a bee sting, because mostly the needle of the bee gets stuck in the skin of the person it stung. Bees will die after they stung you, but wasps won't. They can sting more than once, and sting on purpose, while a bee only stings if threatened."

"There are dozens of them. Wasps stings hurt like a bitch." Morgan responded at the new theory.

"Wasps really freak me out." JJ added. "I'm allergic to them. I have to carry an EpiPen with me, in case I got stung."

"About twenty percent of the people is allergic to wasps. If one has a severe allergy and get stung, one can suffer from an anaphylactic shock, and eventually die. As JJ already stated, you can treat such a shock with epinephrine." Reid rattled. "A lot of people have phobias for them."

"Which makes it even crueler than it already is. So we can say the unsub is a sadist." Rossi said. "Why wasps?"

"Maybe the unsub has trouble connecting to people, and instead, connects with wasps. Maybe he sees them as his friends, seeks for devotion in them. Maybe it's his obsession." Reid threw the idea out in the open.

"You think about socially awkward? Autistic maybe?" Prentiss frowned.

"That must indicate he is smart. Which is probably the reason we haven't found him yet." Hotch sighed.

* * *

The woman opened her eyes. They had to get accustomed to the dark. It took some time till she realized where she was. She was held hostage by some creep. Some creep she knew. Someone who was outrageously crazy. And now she got her confirmation. She was right about him. He was crazy. Her back and neck hurt like hell, so did the straps on her wrists and ankles. How long had she been there? How long had she been out?

She heard footsteps again, looking around to see if the man was entering again. She knew screaming would only make him mad, so she stayed calm. Or maybe calm was not the right word. Maybe the right word was that she acted calm. Her heart beat fast, like a drum in her chest. She was awkwardly aware of the fact that it might not beat that many times as she thought it would beat. Suddenly she heard a voice in her ear, so she startled.

"I want you to meet my friend, Hutch." His voice sounded ragged, but excited. The woman turned around her head, and saw the man holding a jar, with a wasp in it. He looked at it in devotion, almost as if he was in love with the creature. "I hope you aren't allergic. It would take away the fun." He smirked, almost maniacally. He unscrewed the lid of the jar and laid a piece of paper on the opening. "Let's see what place I'll situate you." The man stroked a finger across her skin. He finally stopped at her hand and turned around the jar, placing the opening on her hand.

It did not take long, before the wasp landed down on her skin. She knew it would hurt, because she got stung by wasps before. She closed her eyes as she held her breath. A piercing pain cut through her body. She could almost feel the venom spreading through her hand, forming a swelling around the spot the wasp stung. She gritted her teeth, because she did not want to scream. She did not allow the man to hear her desperation, to hear her pain. To feel her pain. That was what he wanted. She was not planning on giving him what he wanted.

Even if that meant she was going to be tormented any longer.

* * *

They arrived at the precinct in Toledo. They did not have much more information than they already had, and it was already late in the evening. They figured it would be better to catch some sleep for the night, before they would investigate any further. They did not even know if there was another victim, and since the other attacks were all three weeks from each other, they concluded it would take another week for the unsub to abduct another woman.

As usual, JJ and Prentiss shared a hotel room, because they were the only two women in the team, and there were no mixed sexes allowed to share a room. When they were in there rooms, Emily plopped down on the bed. She was exhausted. JJ sat down on the other bed in the room, near the window. She watched outside, holding her hand on her abdomen. Emily turned on her side to face her.

"Are you okay?" She asked, a little concerned. Maybe something was wrong.

"Eh. Yeah, I guess." She looked a little absent-minded.

"Something's wrong with the baby?" The brunette asked. She did not really think there was something wrong, but she wanted the blonde tell her what was wrong. Maybe she could offer her some help. Maybe there were problems. At least, there seemed to be problems, which she would rather not talk about, but she rather had it confirmed, than she would just guess she did not want to talk about it. Sometimes people just needed a push in the right way.

"No, everything is fine with the baby." She stroked her abdomen as she said it. She closed her eyes, as if she was considering her options. "Will wants to marry me."

"Do you love him?" Emily asked, not tearing her gaze away from the blonde. She was getting nervous, because she was fiddling with her fingernails.

"I guess." She did not avert her gaze from the window as she said those words. Emily raised her eyebrows.

"You guess or you know?" This question made the blue-eyed woman turn her head away from the window, to the brown-eyed woman on the bed next to hers.

"I don't know." She breathed, as if her own reaction made her startle. Emily could see nothing but sorrows and doubts in those blue eyes. She felt sorry for her, but she did not want to be the person who talked the couple apart. Especially because JJ was pregnant. "I'm pregnant of his baby, Em."

"And if you weren't?" Emily asked, a little hesitating. She actually did not want to ask the question, because she already knew the answer. Although the blonde would never admit it. In response, she just shook her head.

"I don't know, Em. I don't know. I am pregnant. It makes a difference." She bit her lip, trying to hold back her tears. She had to be strong. She got herself in this position, so she had to deal with it. Emily sat up, facing JJ at the same height.

"I just want you to be happy." Emily whispered. "Whatever you choose to do. You have to think of yourself." If she could have done it, she would have sat down next to the blonde and had taken her in her arms to comfort her. But she did not know if that was the right thing to do. She did not know if the younger woman wanted Emily to enter her personal space. "It's also your life, not only your baby's. Or Will's."

JJ just nodded as a tear spilled on her lap.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter**** III**_

She was not going to die of wasp stings. Wasp stings were only dangerous, if one had allergies, but not if one had not. She had stopped counting after more than twenty times. She had given up hope, that she would ever be able to escape. Even if there was an option to run, because the man would leave her unattended, she would not be able to walk, because there were stings in her feet and hands. Also, they were between her legs, her neck, her armpits, her knees.. It was just too much to count.

She scared herself a little bit, because never she would have thought she would be craving to die. And she was craving to die. More than ever. She just did not want to beg for it. The man would be too pleased with her begging, and she was not willing to give him that pleasure. That was what he wanted. He wanted to control her, to make her say the things he wanted to hear. As much as she wanted to die, she was not going to give him that last part of hers.

* * *

"Jennifer." The older woman said, before sitting down next to the younger one, still far enough to let her decide if she wanted her to be this close. "You don't have to decide yet. You can tell him you need time to figure out what you want."

"I shouldn't be pondering about this. Will is so sweet." The blonde stared at her knees, still biting her lip.

"Do you want to spend forever with him?" Emily kept hesitating about her questions. She did not want to be the cause of a bad break-up. She did not want to be a home-wrecker, but she also could not see her friend get hurt. She cared about the blonde.

The blonde shook her head. "I don't know. I just don't know. I never thought it through, I guess. He's willing to give up his job, Emily." She buried her face in her hands. The brunette laid her hand on the blonde's back to comfort her a little. She was really feeling sorry for the younger woman, but she did not really know what to do.

"Everything will be okay." She whispered, although she did not know if that was true.

* * *

"There's another victim. We meet in the lobby in five." Hotch said through the phone, before hanging up.

Emily put her phone back in her pocket, before turning to JJ again. "We have another victim. We have to go downstairs." She looked into the eyes of the blonde. "Are you okay?" She asked, although she knew the answer. JJ wiped her eyes and nodded slowly. "If you need to talk to someone, I'm here for you, okay?" She laid her hand on the arm of the younger woman and squeezed reassuringly.

JJ nodded and finally looked back into the eyes of the other woman. "Thanks. You're a good friend." She said. Emily just wanted to wrap her arms around the younger woman, but she did not do it. She thought it would be little more than inappropriate to do such a thing. Well, they were friends, but she did not know if JJ was the kind of woman to hug.

"Let's go, then." Emily offered, after what seemed like ages. She was about to turn around, when the blonde wrapped her arms around her. She was caught a little off-guarded, but she got hold of herself fast and hugged the woman back. She closed her eyes, and breathed in the scent of the younger woman. Her heart fluttered in her chest. _It's just a hug._ She thought. She felt her face flush in the embrace, so she decided it might be better to pull out of the hug and go downstairs. She did not want to give herself away.

"Really, thanks. You're sweet." JJ said, as she pulled out of the embrace.

"No problem. You deserve it." Emily turned around to walk to the door. She did not want to look into the eyes of the blonde right now. She would give away her intentions. She would give away her feelings. Her true feelings. She did not want anybody to know. She had to pull up her walls as soon as possible, because they had to get back to work again.

* * *

Half an hour later, they were at the crime scene, aside the highway.

"The unsub is evolving. This one is only two weeks apart from the last one." Rossi stated, taking off his glasses to take a better look at the girl. "What do we know about her?"

"Her name is Marie van Vliet. She's twenty-six years old." Hotch said, looking at her ID.

"Sounds Dutch. Where's she from?" Morgan asked.

"She is from the Netherlands. She came to Ohio two years ago. She's got an office-job in the city." Hotch answered the question. "We don't know why she came here yet."

"Well, let's ask Pen." JJ said, dialing the number. "Hey, sweetie. What do you got on Marie van Vliet, - V - L - I - E - T?"

"She's from the Netherlands. She came here in the summer of '06. Her sister studied here, so she came to visit for the holidays. It's not clear why she decided to stay here. Maybe a boyfriend or something else? That's for you to find out. She worked at some unknown office in the city."

"So, unlike the others, she did not have a public job. Did she have anything in common with the other three victims?" JJ frowned.

"No, nothing." She could hear the other woman shake her head.

"That's rather odd. Well, could you find out if she has accounts on dating sites or anything?" JJ asked, biting her cheek.

"I will pull everything I can. Out." Garcia disconnected their conversation.

"Well, Garcia will try to find everything on this victim, but as far as we know, she has not links to the other victims and she doesn't have a public job." JJ stated.

"Her roommate reported her missing three days ago. Let's check up on her?" Prentiss offered.

"You and Morgan will talk to the roommate. JJ and Reid will go to the office, see if they know something. The rest of us will go back to the precinct, see if we can find anything useful on the other victims." Hotch said, turning to walk back to his SUV.

* * *

Two hours later, all of them met at the precinct again.

"So, what do you got?" Hotch asked, looking at the genius and the blonde.

"They didn't know a lot about Van Vliet. She never went to any parties or gatherings. She was a very introvert person. Nobody knew her well enough to know if something was out of place, or if was acting strange." Reid stated. "She was a little socially awkward, and I'm under the impression that they thought she was autistic on some level."

"So, she has that in common with the unsub." Hotch turned around to the board and wrote down some things. "You?" He turned to the Prentiss and Morgan.

"The roommate reported her missing. Van Vliet called right before she left work. She had been working overtime, and they arranged on eating together that evening. When she wasn't home after an hour and some phone calls, she decided to call the police. She didn't notice any changes in behavior, only the stress due to her job. They were having finance issues." Prentiss informed the rest of the team.

"What about the relationship between the roommate and Van Vliet?" Hotch asked.

"She told us she wasn't very open to her. She didn't know her that well. She never talked about feelings or boyfriends or anything personal." Reid answered.

"So, we got ourselves a victim, who was pretty much invisible for her neighborhood, but somehow, the unsub knew her. She caught his eye. How?" Prentiss frowned. JJ's phone buzzed.

"Pen, you're on speaker." She said.

"So, I tried to find something about Van Vliet's life before America, and I found out she studied mathematics in Leiden until she got her master's degree at age 23. She was amazingly smart, because she graduated summa cum laude. She lived with her parents until she moved to Ohio."

"Hmm, that's odd." Reid intervened. "Why would she have a minor job in an office, if she could do something much more challenging? And why in America? In the Netherlands are enough job opportunities, especially in that field. She could have done research and get her PhD. Instead, she moved to Toledo." He frowned, sunken in thoughts.

"Thanks, baby girl." Morgan said, before JJ hung up. "So, I guess our next step is to search her home."

* * *

The man looked at himself in the mirror. He put his hands at both sides of the sink, looking down. He missed the presence of the woman. He got attached to her. At the same time, he had ached for some space. He wanted to get rid of her. She had never been nice to him. She had always mocked him, because of his hair, because of his smile, because of his whole existence. He had never understood why.

All those women, rejecting him, mocking him for who he was. Never had a woman told him he was beautiful, or strong, or cute, or just nice. They all looked down on him. They all told him he was a creep or just ignored him, just like he was a pile of trash. They just did not know him. They did not know what he was capable of. They underestimated him.

He had to do these things. He had to strangle them. He had to push every little bit of air out of their lungs, to feel the same suffocation as the man felt when they rejected him. And he would look into their eyes too, to see the light leave their eyes, to see their last piece of hope crumble, their last desperate scream for life. They wanted you to feel some mercy for them, but all he could do was squeeze. They just made him feel mad, enraged.

They had to stop talking, to stop breathing..

* * *

That evening, the two women of the BAU team laid in their separate beds in their hotel room.

"Emily?"

"Yes?" She watched the ceiling in the dark. She could not bring herself to sleep yet. And she had the feeling the younger woman could not either.

"Have you ever been in love?" She asked, a little unsure of asking the question.

"Yes, why?" Emily decided to be honest, although she would not be totally honest about whom she actually was in love with.

"I don't mean just a crush or something. I mean, you look at a person, and you just know you could spend the rest of your life with that person. You just know you would love him forever."

"Well, I'm not married. I'm not even in a relationship." Emily answered, biting her lip.

"Still, you're not answering my question." It was quiet for a couple of minutes. Maybe it was longer; Emily did not know. She could never lie to the woman next to her, but she did not want to admit it either. "So, I can conclude he didn't love you back."

"Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe it's not that simple. Maybe I never told the person I was in love. Besides, it doesn't matter anyway, because I'm married to the job. I don't have time for a relationship. I never got passed the first, maybe second date. It's never more than just one night." She paused. "And I'm okay with it. I can handle it. I can live with it."

"Can you?" JJ shifted in her bed.

"I guess." She bit her cheek. Sure, it would be nice if there was someone to come home to, especially the person in the bed next to hers, but she was accustomed to the idea that she was never going to marry. "I've done this my whole life."

"You're only thirty-nine."

"Already thirty-nine."

"But you have like forty years to go. You're not even halfway yet. How can you be sure?"

"You can't be sure. You can't be sure of anything. That's life." Emily said, closing her eyes. She was glad it was dark, because otherwise the other woman would have noticed she was feeling uncomfortable with the subject. She did not like people interrogating her about her life. She was really secretive.

"True. Nothing is certain." JJ responded. The subject had passed. Emily breathed out in relief. "Still, it's a waste, because you're such a beautiful woman, and you're nice and kind. And you're very protective of the people you love." The brunette grinned in reaction.

"Yeah, right." She chuckled. "Well, let's get some sleep, otherwise we will be two zombies in the morning."

"Good night." JJ said.

"Sleep tight."

Emily would never admit how much those words meant to her..

* * *

**A/N: I'm not entirely sure about how I feel about this chapter. Well, let me know, maybe I can change some things. :) You're great for still reading this. ^^**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks for reading this story :) And thanks for the reviews. Makes me very happy to write something enjoying. I hope you'll keep reading ^^ By the way, I wanted to apologize for my English. I'm not a native, so I might have trouble with grammar and use of words. If you notice something really stupid or bad or something, just tell me. I'm eager to learn new things. :)**

** jhickson001: I'm glad it isn't predictable :) I'm doing my best. ^^ And thanks for the rest of your review(s) :)**

** rmpcmfan: I find it odd too. She's so sexy and gorgeous and natural. And she's protective and nice and smart. I would most certainly fall for her. ^^**

**My question for you; who do you like more, Emily or JJ, and why?**

**Hope you'll like this update. Enjoy!**

* * *

_**Chapter IV**_

"So, if I get you right, you think the unsub strikes women he hates? Like, he knows them?" Prentiss said. Reid nodded.

"Yes. And it could also explain why the first three victims had public jobs, and the fourth had not. Maybe he got into a conversation with them, and they rejected him or taunted him. He could have been so enraged that he abducted them." He explained, skipping a few steps in Prentiss' opinion.

"So you think he met the fourth one in a public place." She was still confused and left in the dark a little, but she let Reid brain-dive.

"No, I don't think so. See, the unsub is socially awkward, so he won't talk to people that easily. He has to get to know them first. A five-minute ride in the subway or bus doesn't make any sense." Reid frowned as he thought.

"You think he knew her from work, or school?" Prentiss offered. "She really pissed him off, somehow. Did you hear she had even more stings and wounds than the other women?"

"Yes, that's why I think Van Vliet is a more important lead than the other three women." Reid started pondering again, with his head in his hands, staring at the table. They were still in the hotel, and either Reid and Prentiss were early birds. They were both not able to sleep anymore, so they were having an early breakfast. Apparently, it was quite useful, because they had all these new insights.

"Do you think he fell in love with her?" She bit the inside of her cheek. "I mean, it sounds crazy, but I can imagine he would be mad if she turned him down or something. Maybe worse. Only, why was she his fourth victim and not his first?" She frowned in frustration.

"Well, we know he's smart. Maybe he wanted to distract us from his real aim. Or he wanted to practice." He seemed to wander off in the deepest depths of his thoughts, and Prentiss knew he was not going to share any of his thoughts for now, until he had found another solid reason. She decided to walk back to her hotel room to check up on her 'roommate'.

* * *

The man was walking down the road. He was not quite comfortable on the streets at daylight when it was busy. But since it was work-time, it was not as busy as usual. He went to the Gap to buy some new clothes. He had to burn some of his clothes, due to the stains that developed itself during the murders. Besides, he did not want any DNA of the victims found on his clothes, so if he was able to clean them, he would probably not be able to clean them that well that the bloodstains would never be found. This was the best solution.

He walked into the store, with his way of walking. His slender frame, a crooked back and his head bowed a little. His hair sleek, hanging before his eyes. An devilish smirk on his face. Every woman who saw him walking, would have recoiled in horror. He walked through the aisle, between the shelves and eyed the clothes. He wanted something black. Something dark.

Five minutes later he was standing in front of the mirror, studiously watching himself. Any woman would be scared to face him this way. He combed his hair before his eyes, watching through sleek strands of hair, narrowing his eyes. In the reflection of the mirror, he saw a woman entering his visual range. Probably the saleswoman, he thought. She was handsome, but there was something about her he did not like. There was some arrogance he did not like. The way she strutted through the store.

"Can I help you?" She asked, watching the man carefully.

"Actually," The man said quietly, but loud enough to make the woman flinch at the man's voice. "You can."

* * *

Sunken in thoughts, Emily walked up the stairs to the room she shared with the other woman in the BAU team. Without knocking, she walked in, and she knew almost immediately that was a mistake. The blonde woman had taken a shower and was standing naked in their hotel room. She was wiping her hair dry with a towel when the brunette walked in on her.

"Oh, JJ, I'm - I'm sorry." Emily stumbled, not knowing where to look. She stared at the curves of the other woman. She watched her body being outlined in the light coming out of the window. She was just perfect. Emily's pupils dilated and her hands turned sweaty.

_I'm in so much trouble. _She thought. Not because she saw the younger woman naked at the moment. She was not having any problem with such a thing. She was in trouble, because she was so much in love with the blue-eyed woman. But until now, she at least could not have pictured what she would be like naked. She could have imagined something less perfect. But this, this was just..

She licked her lips. The communications liaison had not moved an inch. "It's okay. I mean, we're both women. There's not much to see, right?" She smiled, before turning around, walking back into the bathroom. Emily finally found her tongue again, immediately being awkwardly aware of the dry piece of flesh. She swallowed a few times and spoke.

"I-I came to pick you up for breakfast." Emily did not know what to do next. She just stood there in the middle of the hotel room. Normally she would be confident, always knowing what to do. But that woman at the other side of the door made her feel so off-guarded. She never knew what to do, how to behave around her. She immediately lost all self-confidence when she spoke, or when she smiled.

"I'm ready in a few minutes. Just wait a sec, we can leave together." She bumbled to her bag, half putting on her slacks, half walking. The older woman actually wanted to leave, but she could not figure a way to do that without raising suspicion. "By the way," JJ stopped putting on clothes for a second, standing in a fully-clothed lower part of the body, and an only bra-clad upper part. "I did some thinking.."

_She's probably going to say that she knows about me and my feelings for her. She is going to hate me for it. She will ask for another room. Or maybe not? She didn't become mad when I walked in on her.._

"I'm going to talk to Will about our relationship and how things are going between us. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do, but I want to talk, I guess." She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. "I mean, he has to know that I have serious doubts, doesn't he?"

"That's the least you can do. Otherwise you'll never know what you really think of the whole thing. Considering you _have_ serious doubts." Emily bit the inside of her cheek again. She really had to break herself of that habit. It made her biting on the same spot over and over again. And people could notice she was nervous. She did not want people to know she was nervous around JJ. She had no right to be nervous. No reason.

* * *

There was a knock on the door. Prentiss turned around to open the door to find Hotch standing in the hallway.

"There's been another woman abducted." He stepped inside the room. "A early customer noticed the store was left unattended and called the cops. As far as they know, there was no sign of struggle or forced entry, but they have to investigate the crime scene as we speak."

"How do we know for sure it's our guy?" Prentiss asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"We don't, but there's a good chance she is, since she fits the profile. We don't take the chance she isn't one of his victims." Hotch stated. "We meet in the lobby in five."

Five minutes later, they all took place in the black SUVs. They had only three days to save the woman. The unsub was obviously evolving, and it was happening fast. It was only a day ago when he dumped the last body. This man was dangerous, they all knew. They just did not know how dangerous. Reid had an interesting theory to offer.

"If he really was in love with our fourth victim, he might have felt a sign of remorse, or maybe deprivation. He's looking for new company, but after three days, they are no use for him anymore. They won't fight back anymore, which is what he want. He wants to be fought."

"Why would he want to be fought? He wants control, right? If he is really autistic.." Rossi opposed. Reid stayed quiet for a while, and so did the others.

"Maybe it makes him feel in control." Reid argued. "Maybe he just wants to punish them for whatever they did. There is a chance that is takes three days for a woman to give up. He gets bored and gets rid of the woman."

"This man is a mysterious one. A ghost." Rossi sighed.

"Maybe we have to look at the fourth victim a little closer. It's something Reid said this morning. She was scarred a lot worse than the other three women. This was pure rage, hatred. I think he knew the woman personally. Maybe if we take a dive into her life, we get to our unsub." Prentiss offered, till now the most valuable idea.

"That sounds like a great idea." Hotch responded to the suggestion. "Prentiss, Morgan, JJ and Reid, I want you in the first plane to the Netherlands. Try to get to know as much as possible about our victim. I'll call Garcia to pull as much information on our latest victim. Rossi and I stay here at the precinct. Clear?" Five heads nodded in agreement.

This was going to be a tough and long case..

* * *

**Well, this one is a little shorter than the other three. I hope it's okay. I'm not sure how I feel about this one, but again, let me know if something bothers you. I might change it :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I really love that idea! I'm totally gonna do something with that :)**

* * *

_**Chapter V**_

Hotch hung up the phone. "There's no footage of the abduction." He said to Rossi, who was standing next to him. "All of their cameras are fake. They're just to scare people, but they don't have money to actually let them work."

"The unsub must have known." Rossi sighed. He looked on his watch. "In two hours, the rest of our team will be at Schiphol, Amsterdam. Maybe they'll find something new. In the meanwhile, when can check on the fourth victim's sister. I don't think we're gonna find anything on the newest."

Hotch nodded. "It's just random." He walked to the board with all of the information about the victims, and everything they had on the unsub. "It all appears to be random.. But somehow, the unsub is organized."

"So, the abductions are not as random as we may think. Or he wants us to think. He planned this. He takes care of possible video footage, and he abducts the women, without any witnesses." Rossi shared his thoughts about the matter.

"His ultimate goal could have been our fourth victim, Van Vliet." Hotch added.

"Reid said he might have loved her. Maybe she was some sort of object of affection when he was young. And she might have turned him down. Or humiliated him. Something triggered him to abduct her. He might have even moved to the States to stalk her and eventually kill her. He might have been obsessed with the idea of having his way with her. But he is smart and he also thought this through. He knew he would get caught if he didn't plan well. So he chose three other women. Probably picked them, because they don't have ties to each other, and more importantly, not to the unsub." Rossi kept producing new ideas, and Hotch nodded.

They had let the rest of the team know about their new findings. He glanced at his watch. It was only half an hour, when they would touch down. So they went their way to the sister of Van Vliet, Linda van Vliet.

* * *

"Why are you doing this?" Regina Romany exclaimed. She was strapped to a chair, with her ankles and wrists. She could not move, but she could talk. There was a man at the other side of the chamber, rumbling with what sounded jars. Regina has been the owner of the local Gap of Toledo for years now, and never had she have such a strange customer as today. The man had walked in, sleek hair, a creepy strut. Everything was terrifying about the man. She had not felt comfortable being alone in her store with the man.

Her intuition had warmed her, but she did not listen. A lot of times she had felt uncomfortable around creepy customers, and every time she had been wrong about the men. Or, on occasions, women. But she should have hid herself in the back of the store, like her mind had told her. If she had done that, she would not have been in this position, with this smugly grinning man she did not even know. She had never seen him before.

But she knew this would probably the last face she would see.

* * *

Reid, Morgan, JJ and Prentiss walked through the hallway of the airport. They had just picked up their luggage, when Morgan's cellphone rung. It was Hotch.

"Hey, Hotch. We just touched down." A pause. "Okay, fill me in."

"Emily? Ben jij dat?" _Emily, is that you? _They heard in the background. Prentiss turned around and looked into the eyes of someone familiar.

"Suzanne? Ik heb je al in geen eeuwen gezien." _I haven't seen you in ages. _She walked in her direction and hugged her, followed by three kisses on the cheeks.

JJ eyed the two women from a distance. The hug took a little too long to be distant. And the woman was standing in Emily's personal space. And since when did Emily speak - what she assumed to be - Dutch? They talked for a while, and Emily seemed happy. JJ had not seen her smile like that in a while. The other woman, Suzanne, had blonde hair, brown eyes and her face covered with freckles and was about five feet and six inches tall and about the same age as Emily. JJ had to admit; she was cute.

"Ik ben hier eigenlijk voor een zaak, dus ik moet nu gaan. Maar waarom geef je me niet je nummer, en dan kan ik je bellen als we klaar zijn. We hebben zoveel om bij te praten." _Actually I'm here for a case, so I have to go now. But why don't you give me your number, and I'll call you when we're done. We got so much to talk about. _Emily smiled, and it was a genuine smile.

"Dat lijkt me leuk." _That seems nice._ She wrote her number down on a piece of paper and handed it to Emily. The blonde laid her hand on Emily's arm. "Het was goed je weer eens te zien." _It was good to see you again._ She smiled. "Ik heb je gemist." _I missed you._

_"_Nou, ik moet gaan dus. Ik bel je." _Well, I have to go now. I'll call you. _Emily ended their conversation. After a last hug, they turned around and went back to their lives.

"So, who was that?" JJ asked, when Prentiss joined the group again.

"Just a friend of mine." She answered, blushing heavily. Taking it into account that the brunette never blushed, JJ thought it was actually cute.

"Just a friend?" She teased, grinning like a Cheshire cat. She was totally taking advantage of the fact that she never saw the woman shying away.

"Yeah, Dutch people are really physical." She was still heavily red, but she was building up her walls again, so it was just a matter of time before her blush faded. Morgan hung up this phone and put it in the pocket.

"So, Hotch and Rossi had some new findings.." He said when he joined the group again. The mood in the group changed immediately as they went back to work.

* * *

Rossi knocked on the door. The older version of their fourth victim opened the door. He flashed his credentials.

"We're here to talk about Marie van Vliet. She's your sister, am I right?" He asked softly.

"Yes, I'm Linda." She extended her hand to shake the men's hands and to invite them in. When they settled down on the couch, each a cup of coffee, they continued their conversation.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience. We heard you're gonna fly your sister back to the Netherlands this evening, so she can be buried among friends and family." Rossi continued. The woman nodded.

"Yes. We didn't want to fly everyone in to attend to the funeral. Besides, I never had the feeling Marie settled completely in the States. She didn't have many friends, you see." She looked at her feet, as if she regretted taking her little sister to the States. If she had not, she might still be alive.

"It's not your fault. We believe the unsub may be someone she knew from the past." Rossi said, trying to comfort the woman a little by his words. "Did you notice her behavior changed over the past months?"

"No. I don't know. I didn't speak that much to her lately. And when we did, it was not different than any other occasion, I guess." She bit her lip, as if remembering if her sister behaved strange the last time she saw her. "No, I don't think she was behaving different. And I think she would have told us if she felt threatened."

"Were there people she talked about when she was in college or high school?" Hotch asked.

"Well, her friends. But besides that, not much. I moved out when she was twelve, so wasn't there a lot. We talked on the phone, and saw each other a few times a year, but that's it." She explained. "You might ask her former friends. They might know something." She added.

"The rest of our team is already in the Netherlands." Hotch explained.

* * *

"Kunt u ons alle informatie over Marie van Vliet geven?" _Can you give us all of your information about Marie van Vliet?_ She gave some of the murdered woman's information and in a few clicks with the mouse and a few touches of the keyboard, there was all of the information about their lead-victim. They had gotten an English and a Dutch version of her information.

It informed them about the number of years it took her to finish the study, the name of the study, the courses she was enrolled in, her grades. As far as they knew, she was just really smart, because she passed them all, and with good grades.

"See, their method to grade a student's work is different in the Netherlands. In the States, A is the highest grade, and F the lowest." Reid explained. "In the Dutch system, their tests get scaled, from zero to ten, with ten being the highest. So, when you did fifty percent of the test right, you get a five, and so on. You have to get a six or higher to pass the exam, and therefore to pass the course and receive your credits." He pointed at the piece of paper that said '3EC' or '6EC' in a column after the names of the courses."

"Every EC, meaning European Credit, is worth about twenty-five to thirty hours of studying. You have to earn sixty a year, which makes it hundred and eighty EC for three years of a Bachelor. About sixty percent of the study is mandatory and the rest of the courses is optional, as long as you have the right amount of ECs in the end." He quit rambling.

"Well, I think we know enough. She was really smart. Maybe we should talk about some supervisor Van Vliet talked to." Prentiss offered. "There isn't any on this form. Maybe we should ask again."

She walked back to the information counter and asked about some supervisor their victim talked to. She told Prentiss that she still worked in the building and gave her all of her information. "So her name is Lana van Dongen, and her office is in the same building as this one. She couldn't tell if our victim came there a lot, but every student needs to have an appointment at least twice a year to stay at this university. So I suggest we ask her a few questions. Maybe she knows something."

Ten minutes later they knocked on the door. The woman was on the phone. She was short, a about the same age as Prentiss. She was a blonde, with short hair, but seemed to be cheerful. She waved at the group of profilers to indicate she had seen them. A few minutes later, she hung up and turned to them.

"Kan ik jullie helpen?" _Can I help you? _She asked. Prentiss showed her her credentials and explained the situation in Dutch.

"Spreek je Engels?" _Do you speak English?_ She asked.

"Yes, of course." She said, continuing the conversation in English. "So, why are the FBI here?" She asked with a Dutch accent.

"We're investigating the murder of Marie van Vliet. Does that name ring a bell?" Prentiss asked, deciding to take the conversation in hands.

"Yes. She studied here for five years. I talked to her a lot about her study. You said murder? What happened?" She looked shocked. Prentiss explained the situation, about Van Vliet's murder and what they where doing there. "Well, can I help you?"

"Yes. Can you tell me if she had a group of friends she was close with? We want to ask them a few questions about their former friend." Prentiss said, assuming the woman would not know if Van Vliet had enemies.

"Of course. If you just look me up the names, I'll write them down for you along with their last known addresses." She said, before turning around to her computer.


	6. Chapter 6

**_Chapter _****_VI_**

Jet lag was finally kicking in. It was almost six o'clock in the evening when the part of the BAU team staying over-seas checked in into a hotel. They had not slept that night, because it was six hours earlier in Ohio than in the Netherlands, so when they arrived that morning, the sun was already risen. They were used to a little amount of sleep, but they were tired and needed to eat. They took two rooms next to each other, so they could visit each other easily. They dropped off their luggage and decided to eat in the hotel-restaurant. They ordered their meals and waited.

"Have you guys been in the Netherlands before?" Morgan asked the rest of them. Reid and JJ shook their heads, but Prentiss nodded.

"I've been in the Netherlands for about a year." She explained.

"What were you doing?" Morgan asked.

"Well, it was soon after college. I didn't exactly know what to do. And I had lived in half of Europe already. So I decided to move to the Netherlands, which was great, actually." She said.

"Still doesn't answer my question." Morgan teased, nudging Prentiss' side.

"I was young." She flushed crimson. "That's all I say." She grabbed her glass of water and sipped from it, dismissing the subject. JJ eyed her, narrowing her eyes, but she did not say a word.

They discussed the cases, before following their discussing with some laughter and drinks. It was little past nine when they went upstairs again. Tomorrow they would visit the friends of their victim to ask them questions.

* * *

JJ and Emily went to their room and Reid and Morgan to theirs. Emily was just unbuttoning her shirt, when JJ decided it was time to talk.

"So, who was that woman?" She was right behind her, so when Emily turned around, she looked right into JJ's eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes, that seemed to look right through her. She was awkwardly aware of the fact that her shirt was now hanging half-open and JJ was only inches away from her. She could feel her breath on her face. Emily closed her eyes.

"I'm not going to get away with 'Dutch habits', am I?" She said, opening her eyes again, hoping that JJ would drop the subject.

"No. Unless you really don't want to talk about it, but.." The blonde-haired woman sighed. "I thought you trusted me."

"Alright." The brunette exhaled, averting her gaze, looking at her toes now. "Well, we dated." She said eventually.

The younger woman tilted her head a little to look into Emily's eyes, but she kept looking away. "Are you..?" JJ asked.

"I'm bisexual, if that's what you mean." Emily reacted. She was almost sure that was not what JJ meant by her question.

"I thought you trusted me." JJ muttered, a little offended by the fact that Emily never told her she was bisexual.

"I do, really. It's just.." She paused a moment to take a deep breath and looked up into blue eyes. "I never told anybody. Apart from my former lovers, nobody knows I'm bisexual. I never even told my friends or family. It's just that people are being weird about it. They always assume you can't choose, or you just want to swing for both sides and cheat a lot. I don't want those discussions. Besides, it doesn't concern them. They don't have to know."

JJ mouthed an 'O' and sighed. "I'm flattered, then."

"Well, you're the first to ask that directly. And I can't lie to you." _I really can't._ She sighed again. "So, if you don't mind.. Do you want to keep it to yourself?" The other woman nodded slowly in response. Emily's muscles were still tense, but she started to feel a little relaxed again, but her face was flushed, she could tell. She turned around to continue undressing. When she finally managed to put on her over-sized T-shirt, she turned around, and noticed JJ had not moved. She seemed to be pondering about something.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Emily asked JJ, a little concerned. Maybe she scared her.

She shook her head. "Nothing. I was just wondering.."

"No, just tell me. You scare me." Emily tried to force a smile, but she was truly terrified that she had scared the younger woman. She just hoped that she did not find out about her feelings for her.

"No.. No, don't be." She sucked her lower lip between her teeth. "When I was a teenager, I wondered what it would be like with a woman. I never tried. It was just not-done in my family and my friends were against it, and just.. You know."

"Are you up to something?" Emily narrowed her eyes, eyeing her suspiciously. She was still awkwardly aware of the fact that she was wearing a too small amount of clothes.

"Oh, no." JJ said, rather fast. She flushed bright crimson.

"Are you okay with this whole thing?" The brunette asked, a little concerned. She did not want this to affect their friendship.

"Yeah, of course. You haven't changed. You always were this way. You just haven't told. Can I ask.. how did you keep it a secret so long? I mean.. You must have been craving to tell _someone_, right?" She frowned, putting her hands on her hips.

"I don't know.. I mean, at first when I was young, it was a big deal. I felt so guilty about not telling people. But I never lied about it. I never told someone I was straight. I never denied I was bisexual. I just never answered. And I never speak of 'him' or 'her' when talking about dates. I just tell about 'my date' and 'the person' and so on." Emily admitted.

"I still don't understand how you can keep up with it. You played a part in a play that's called your life." JJ bit her lip as she said. "Someone would explode, keeping a secret like this?"

"Well, my mother being an ambassador means having a lot of secrets. I kind of grew up with it." She rolled her eyes. "Probably the reason everyone thinks I never flinch when I see photos of victims."

"Yeah, I guess." JJ sounded a little absent-minded.

"We don't have to talk about this." Emily did not want to talk about it. It made her feel uncomfortable. Especially because JJ was with Will and had to decide whether or not to choose to be with him. This made it all a little more painful to Emily than it already was. To tell the object of her affection about the second last thing she ever wanted to tell. And it was just about sure that JJ was not bisexual. She just admitted she never even kissed a woman. _But she was curious._

"If you don't want to.." JJ trailed off. Apparently she wanted to talk about it, but when she noticed it made Emily feel uncomfortable, she decided it was better to talk about something less charged.

* * *

Regina was still tied to the chair. She guessed she was only a few hours in the house, but it could have been a lot longer. It could also have been a lot shorter. She did not know. She had no awareness of time left. The man had not visited her since the first time. He had just taken off. She kind of hoped he was not coming back, although she also did not like the feeling of starving to death. She did not want to end up strapped on a chair, in her own pee and stuff. She was thinking about her fiance. He was probably worried sick.

She wondered if the police were already looking for her. Perhaps she had a chance of survival. Maybe she should just hope and pray, although she did not really believe in such a thing. She heard the door opening again, followed by footsteps. The man was walking slowly, as if he was enjoying the fact that Regina's muscles tensed at the noise. When he entered her sight, she saw he was holding a jar again. A wasp buzzed. She hated wasps. She was afraid of them.

The man unscrewed the jar and turned it upside-down, placing it on her abdomen, before rolling up her shirt. It did not take long when the wasp stung. And again. And again. It hurt like hell, but Regina was accustomed to pain, so she could handle it. The problem was a little different than that. She blinked a few times. Her sight was getting blurry and her eyes were a little teary. She also noticed her breathing became harder. She rasped a little and she felt like suffocating. It was only a matter of time when she started throwing up. The man did not seem too happy. Regina knew what this meant.

This meant her chances of survival were just reduced to zero.

* * *

Morgan rang the doorbell of the second house they visited. An hour ago, they were at the house of one of the names of the list they got at the university. It turned out Pieter Baan did not live with his parents anymore. Well, that was kind of logical, but they had to ask them for his address. They did not know. The access to information was not easy to get when you were not from the Netherlands yourself. But hear they were, at mister Baan's home, hoping he would remember something.

"Hai, kan ik u helpen?" _Hi, can I help you? _He asked. A blonde handsome guy, wearing shirts, tucked in his jeans. He appeared to be nonchalant.

"Hi, we're from the FBI. Can we ask some question in English?" Prentiss asked, in case he wanted to answer in Dutch again.

"That's okay. Come in." They stepped in a pretty big apartment. He was probably living with a woman, Prentiss noticed from her profiling skills. "So, what do you want to talk about?" He asked, when they sat down on the couch and on some seats, settled with coffee.

"Can you confirm your friendship with Marie van Vliet?" Reid asked.

"Yes, we went to university for three years together. We were friends." He said, smiling. "Why, is something wrong? I mean, you're FBI.."

"She's been murdered, four days ago." Morgan said. Baan covered his mouth with his hand.

"Oh my god." He muttered. "What do you want from me?"

"We want to know some things about her past. We have reason to assume the unsub is one of the people she knew in university. Did she have enemies?" Prentiss asked, frowning. She had they idea they were onto something. This guy knew about her enemies.

"Yes. There was this one guy.. We all disliked him, but she just hated him. He was creepy though." He told, closing his eyes. He was trying to remember the name of the guy. "I guess his name was Fons Stevens. He was also on mathematics, and really smart, but also weird. A little autistic."

"Thanks. I have to make a phone call." JJ said, turning around, dialing the number of the unit chief.

"Hotch, we have a name. Fons Stevens with a 'V'. He was also in the university, and as far as we know, he fits the profile." JJ told Hotch through the phone.

"I'll ask Garcia to find as much as she can.. And thanks." Hotch hurried before hanging up again.

* * *

**Well, tell me what you think. Hope you liked it. Reviews are welcome :) **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: rmpcmfan, don't worry. ^^**

**jhickson001, really thanks to you too :) It means a lot to me. ^^ You just made my day. (It's great to wake up in the morning, and read this ^^)**

* * *

_**Chapter VII**_

They walked out of Pieter Baan's apartment, over-thinking their next step. If this was their unsub, they were practically done. But what if the man was not in the system anymore?

"Okay, I suggest we go back to the hotel, catch a few hours of sleep again, or just eat a bit. We have to wait for a phone call for new instructions. Maybe they need us here." Morgan said.

Half an hour later, they were in their hotel rooms, relaxing a bit. Prentiss wondered if maybe they had to interrogate more old friends of Van Vliet. Maybe one was not enough. JJ was lying on the bed, sleeping. She had not said a lot of words after Emily confessed to her she was bisexual. She wondered why. She sincerely did not hope she had chased the woman away, but she could not be sure. Maybe she was just tired.

Another half an hour later, the phone rang. Prentiss notified Reid and Morgan before picking up.

"Hey, Garcia, you're on speaker." She said when she answered the phone.

"Hi, everybody. Well, your guy. I couldn't find anything about him. His name isn't in our system. But it is possible he has another name. So I hacked into some Dutch databases.. and in the Netherlands he's untraceable too. There are no records, or bills or taxes. It's just like he doesn't exist. So I hacked into the university of Leiden's database. And I found his name and other information. And it is right he studied there. But then I did some research. See, every Dutch citizen has his own BSN, that's a number you get. Every citizen's BSN is unique.

Well, now the truth comes out. I did some research about BSN, and it turns out that number should satisfy a few rules. For example. it has to be made up of nine numbers. And that's true. But it also has to satisfy a check digit, and that's where it fails. You have to add up the numbers in a specific way, and the result has to be a multiple of eleven. So I checked, and the sum is not a multiple of eleven. Which means that his number is fake."

"So, his ID is fake." Morgan concluded.

"Well, at least his known information in university." JJ said.

"Can you run his university photo through your system?" Prentiss asked.

"I'm already doing that. I cross-referenced with Dutch from origin and his estimated age." She said. They heard her rattle on the keys of her keyboard. "But that can take a while."

"Okay, thanks baby girl." Morgan said, ending the conversation. Prentiss hung up again.

"So, we got a ghost. Well, at least we know what he looks like." Reid said.

"What if we take a visit at his former friends at the university? Maybe they know something about his movements after graduation." Prentiss suggested.

* * *

Regina's head felt heavy. She could not hold it up anymore. She felt terrible. She felt like fainting all the time. The man who was keeping her hostage had left the room. He was away for a few hours now. She did not know how many time she had left, but she felt like dying already. She just wanted to lie down, but she was still strapped tight in the chair. She thought about her fiance. She pictured his face in her mind, but he kept fading away. Her mind was foggy.

The venom of the wasp streamed through her veins. She knew it was only a matter of time her heart stopped, but she kept hoping someone would come for her. She kept hoping her fiance would save her. Her knight in shiny armor. She thought of the moment they met. She was sorting some clothes in her store, standing on a ladder, when she fell down, breaking her leg and wrist. She could not get up, but her then unknown fiance, Jared, had offered his help immediately.

When he noticed she was not able to stand, he had picked her up, bringing her to his car. He drove her to the hospital and stayed the rest of the day. They had talked about their lives and when she was released from the hospital, he asked her out. At first, she had declined, but he kept asking. She finally said yes, so they started dating. He was very gentle and nice. She wanted to take things slow, and he understood. Somehow, they fell in love with each other, and after a year of dating, they started living together.

Another year later, he went down on one knee, and asked her those magic words: 'Will you marry me?'. And of course, she had said yes. And they were planning on having kids. And now she was not going to get that chance. Now she was widowing the man she wanted to marry. The man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

Well, she got to spend the rest of her life with him, but that 'rest' was just too short. She should have gotten old and grey-haired, along with her husband, enjoying their children and grandchildren. She wanted her chance of messing it up, trying to make it okay again. That was life. Trying the best you can.

So this was what dying was like. Thinking of all the things you did in life. Thinking of all the things you missed out on. Trying to live your life in those last hours, those last minutes, and eventually, those last seconds. As if your heart just knew, it started beating a lot faster, trying to beat all his heartbeats left in those last minutes.

The signs were showing that your body was already giving up.

* * *

"Do you know what I think is odd?" Reid said, looking up after a long moment of silence. They were sitting in the little coffee shop down the hotel. "Why would he use a fake-ID to join the university? I mean, he didn't know our victim before, right?"

"Actually, none of the people we talked to said such a thing. But it's weird, because if our victim knew the unsub before, she had known his real name. That must have rang a bell, right?" Prentiss said.

This afternoon, they visited a few of Stevens' old friends. They had no idea what happened with him after graduation. They had lost all contact. All they knew about the guy was that he wanted to be teacher. But outside of homework and mathematics, they really did not talk about personal stuff. They did not know where he lived, they had never visited him outside of college, they did not know if he had any siblings, or his parents names. They did not know about his hobbies, or if he dated.

They did not know a thing about this unsub. But the fact that they knew so little of him, made them almost sure this had to be the unsub. The fact that he was practically invisible could not be just a coincidence.

Morgan startled as his phone went off. He picked up. "It's Hotch."

After a quick conversation he told the other three agents that the missing Gap owner had been found. Dead.

"But.. it's been only two days." JJ muttered.

"She had only one sting in her stomach. Probably she suffered from an anaphylactic shock." Morgan responded. He was clearly a little shocked to get a confirmation that people actually die of wasp stings. "Let's hope this startled him enough to make him stop."

It was already eleven in the evening, but Emily did not feel like going to sleep. They were so close, but so far to catching this guy. They knew his name, but somehow it turned out to be a fake one. This man was just a psychopath, and the more she thought of it, the more she hated him. At first, she had thought he was humiliated or something, but this guy was just cruel and mean. He had planned this all along. He had planned this before he started to study. And she wanted to find out what had driven him to do this. What did that girl do to deserve this? And the better question: why did he go on with other, innocent women, before and after her?

She ordered a shot of vodka, when Morgan spoke. "I'm going to bed, guys. See you tomorrow."

"Actually, I'm going with you." Reid added.

"Ooh, our two guys are going together. Sexy." JJ grinned. Reid shot her a death glare. "Hey, you know I don't mean it, Spence." She gave him a bittersweet smile. When the two men left, she turned to Emily. "And what sorrows are you drowning?" She fiddled with the straw of her own drink, eyeing the dark-haired woman.

"Oh, nothing. Just thinking about the case. I think we're doing something wrong." She bit her lip as she said. She downed her drink all at once and ordered another one.

"Nah, I just think he is smart. And a few steps ahead of us. We'll catch him." She tilted her head to get a better look at the other woman. "So tell me. What's bothering you so much?"

"I just told you." Emily said, but she did not seem convincing to the blonde. JJ laid her hand on Emily's. Her muscles tensed in response. Soft skin touching hers. She just wanted to take that hand, dragging her upstairs to their room, but she knew she could not do that. She knew she would never be able to do that. JJ was with Will. And when she would not be, she would never be with Emily. Emily was not good enough for the blonde. Besides, JJ had admitted that she never kissed a girl. _But she wanted to._

"Let's go upstairs." JJ said. "I think you shouldn't be drinking anymore vodka." She took the glass out of Emily's other hand and set it down on the table between them. "Come on." She softly forced the brunette to stand up. Another five minutes later they were in the elevator. Emily surprised herself, because she was not nearly as drunk as she thought. Although her brain worked a little slower than normal.

When they walked into the room, Emily sat down on her bed. "What did you mean when you said you wondered what it would be like with a woman?"

That question got JJ off-guarded. She did not expect this from a drunk Emily. Or maybe she was not that drunk. She sounded steady. She walked steady. That woman could hold her liquor. JJ walked to the bed and sat down next to the brunette, far enough not to violate her personal space. "Well, you know, when you're a teenager, you wonder things. You imagine things. One of the things I imagined was kissing a girl. But like I said. I never did. It was not-done."

"Why didn't you do it secretly?" Emily asked, looking deep into the other woman's eyes. She just wanted to drown in those blue eyes, right there, right then.

"I never had the chance.." She trailed off. "I never met someone I wanted to do that with.." She shifted a little in the brunette's direction, now entering her personal space. But Emily did not flinch. She had dreamed of this since she walked into the BAU. Since she met the blonde. The woman that haunted her dreams, more than she would ever admit. She was now only inches away from the younger woman. She could feel her warmth, smell her scent.

She closed her eyes for only a moment, when she felt soft lips brushing hers. Her stomach fluttered in her abdomen, like a teenage girl getting her first kiss by her crush. She felt like flying for only a moment, until the warmth of JJ's lips was gone again. She opened her eyes, slowly. The blonde pulled away, flushed bright red, avoiding Emily's gaze.

"I'm sorry.. I didn't.. mean to." JJ muttered. "I'm sorry, that was totally inappropriate."

"It's okay, JJ." Emily said. "Did it exceed expectations?" She smiled, trying to ease the tension.

"Your lips are softer than a man's." She said promptly. "But well.. this one wasn't a real kiss, you know."

"Felt real to me." Emily grinned.

"You know what I mean." She bit her lip. She was really cute when she did that, in Emily's opinion. She was still flushed. "Can I? Shoot, I shouldn't ask this. This is so wrong." She muttered, turning her head away. She shook her head and stood up, pacing up and down the room.

"JJ." Emily tried to intervene, but JJ did not stop rambling.

"I shouldn't be doing this.. Just because I know you're bisexual.. I shouldn't be doing this."

"JJ!" The brunette tried again, but she kept rambling about how wrong this was. How wrong it was of her to kiss her like that. A little bit guided by the alcohol, she found herself kissing the blonde again, stopping the rambling and the pacing. This one was more urgent, but also passionate. The blonde wrapped her arms around the brunette and pulled her closer. The younger woman's body fit just perfectly against the older woman's.

It felt so wrong, but so right. But the brunette did not think about the feelings she cherished for the blonde. She did not think of anything, as she drowned herself in a battle of tongues, running hands through each other's hair and holding one's breath the longest.

* * *

**So, there, their first kiss. Hope you liked it. ^^**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter VIII**_

Their kisses grew more needy, more passionate, as JJ pulled Emily closer, tucking her hands in the brunette's back pockets. Emily tangled her fingers in the blonde's hair, softly raking her scalp with her nails. JJ pulled the other woman with her to the bed, freeing her hands from her pockets. She trailed up her fingers across the arms of the other woman. She hooked her fingers under the fabric of her jacket, and slowly slid off the piece of clothes, until it fell on the ground.

Emily locked eyes with JJ, checking on the younger woman. She wanted to be sure JJ would not regret it, but when she looked into those blue eyes, she only saw desire. Her pupils were so dilated, her eyes were almost dark instead of blue. The younger woman moved her hands from Emily's arms to the buttons of her shirt, and started to push the buttons through their loops. Normally, Emily would have been the dominant one, but this time it was different. When her shirt was unbuttoned, JJ pushed those down, next to the jacket.

Emily started a trail of kisses to JJ's neck, licking and sucking her pulse point, as the blonde's hands ran across her back, nails scratching skin. The brunette took the lead again, and pushed JJ softly towards the bed, while she hooked her fingers behind the hem of JJ's shirt, slowly pulling it off. When they were at the edge of the bed, Emily slid her hands across JJ's sides, slowly lowering herself on her knees, until her fingers reached the hem of JJ's slacks. She looked up one last time, locking eyes with blue ones, but her face spoke volumes, her lower lip tugged between her teeth, her breathing unsteady and shallow.

Slowly, tooth by tooth, she opened the zipper, revealing the lacy fabric of her undergarments. She took off the blonde's shoes and socks, followed by her slacks, leaving her in her underwear.

"Kiss me." JJ breathed, barely audible. Emily got on her feet again, and brushed her lips against JJ's, softly tugging her lower lip between hers, gently sucking on it. Tongues met again, tangling and brushing. Little by little, the rest of their clothes found their place on the ground, and somehow Emily and JJ ended up in bed together, JJ laying on her back, and Emily straddling her thighs.

"Emily?" She heard her name coming from far away. Her eyes shot open and she looked into a pair of blue eyes. She was a little shocked of the idea that she only dreamed all of this. Well, not all of it. They had kissed, but after a while they had been going to sleep in their separate beds. They had not spoken a word about it, but frankly, Emily did not want to. She did not want to tell the blonde about her real feelings for the blonde. She did not want to talk about the meaning. She knew the blonde was only experimenting.

"Emily, are you okay? You're flushed, and you feel warm." She laid her hand on the brunette's forehead. She fought the urge not to lean into her hand.

"I'm okay. Just a dream." She mumbled. She did not want to lie, but she did not want to tell the truth either. She just wanted to go back to sleep. But honestly, she was a little scared that her dream would take off where it left her. She wanted to sort out her thoughts. She wanted to figure out what to do. Her life was a mess right now. She should not have kissed JJ. She knew it would wake something inside her. Deeper feelings than she already cherished for the blonde.

"You don't seem fine. You don't want to talk about it?" JJ seemed concerned. She laid her hand on the brunette's arm, stroking bare skin with her thumb. She felt said skin tingle in response. She was still turned on because of the dream. She needed a cold shower, but it would be a little strange if she actually did right now. It was the middle of the night. JJ would think things of it, and that was just the thing she wanted to avoid. She did not want her to think things. She did not want her to find out how she felt about her, how she thought about her relationship with Will.

Will was a good person, Emily thought. But a relationship was not only about being good for each other. To make it work, you need to love each other. You need to be each other's best friend, each other's person. You had to trust each other completely, you had to be able to tell each other everything, without being afraid of the consequences. The fact that JJ questioned her affection for Will said something, but the fact that JJ had kissed her this night spoke volumes. Emily wondered if Will had crossed her mind, when she stuck her tongue down Emily's throat. She doubted it.

"Emily? Just tell me. You're totally freaking me out." JJ said, shaking her arm a little, trying to force Emily into locking eyes with her, but she did not. She just kept watching into the darkness behind her. She felt sick to the stomach. She just wanted to leave that room, walking away from everything, from the room, from JJ, from herself.. She was just a liar. She thought of that one quote: 'The minute people fall in love, they become liars.'

That was exactly what she had become.

* * *

The next morning Hotch called early. Well, to the four unit members situated in the Netherlands it was early. To him it was late. Half past five in the morning in the Netherlands meant half past eleven in Ohio.

"Your airplane leaves in two hours. We need all hands on deck in Ohio when we find something. You've done everything you could in the Netherlands." He stated, as a matter of fact.

"You don't think we will be needed here?" Prentiss asked, frowning. Actually it did make sense. None of the people of his past knew anything.

"We arranged things with the Dutch police. They will help if needed. For now, you're not needed right there. We really need you over here. I see you in eleven hours." He hung up again.

"Do you think he ever sleeps?" Morgan asked. The other shook their heads.

"Well, let's pack our stuff and eat something before we leave."

* * *

Eleven hours later, they were back in Ohio. It was almost noon when they arrived at the police department of Toledo. So far, there were no missing persons filed in the last days, but for all they knew, his next victim could have been someone out of his comfort zone. Garcia had not found the unsub either, but there was still hope. They hoped he had some remorse, and took a break of killing those women, so they would have a little more time to find him. It was almost three in the afternoon, when Garcia called.

"Sir, I have found someone matching the photo of Stevens. His name is Julian Peters. I'll send you his last known address." She said to Hotch.

"Well done, Garcia." He said, before she hung up again. "Let's go." He grabbed his stuff, and so did the others. They headed to their cars to face their unsub.

Fifteen minutes later, they arrived at his house. It was not big, but it was not small either. It looked like a normal house, just one you would expect from some office manager and his lovely wife and two kids. But this time they knew it was not property of a family. They knew it was property of a monster. The kind of monster the two said kids would fear, the kind of monster they had nightmares about, the kind of monster they wanted their parents to check out every evening before falling asleep.

They covered all doors, when they barged into the house. When they cleared it, they saw nothing but a abandoned house. Prentiss walked towards the table, running a finger across it. It was not dirty.

"Well, he's clearly been here. Or somebody has." She concluded.

"He knew we were coming." JJ breathed.

"How do you know that?" Morgan asked.

"He left in a hurry. I saw his toothbrush in the bathroom. Unless he has two, but I think he has left in a hurry." She said, frowning.

"But how did he knew we would come?" Reid asked.

"That's ours to find out." Hotch said.

* * *

**I'm sorry it's a little short, but I thought this would be a proper moment to close the chapter. I'm in a bit of a writer's block and I want to decide whether or not following some story line I have in mind, so.. Well, I hope you liked this one. :) Let me know what you think. I love the reviews ^^ I'm a little busy, that's why it takes me so long to update. I hope you're still satisfied :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thanks for still catching up with this story :) Reviews are nice ^^ I hope you'll enjoy this one.**

* * *

_**Chapter IX**_

Two days earlier

"Hey. They are looking for you." A voice with a familiar accent sounded from the other end of the phone line. The voice was just a whisper.

"What do you mean, they're looking for me? How do they know?" The voice belonging to Julian Peters sounded, more panicked than he wanted.

"The FBI. They asked some questions about you. I lied. I told them I didn't know anything. But they're looking for you. You have to hide." The voice sounded worried, concerned. The person on the other side of the line cared about the man.

"They won't find me. They don't know my name."

"You don't know what they're capable of. They tracked you down. I assure you." The voice grew more panicked, as if the person wanted to protect the man. "Please, hide. Go away from where you are. Hide, and don't move."

There was a long silence at the other side of the line. They both did not speak for a couple of seconds, minutes maybe.

"Okay. I will hide." He decided. "But only because I love you."

"I love you too. I'm just worried, okay? Just hide."

* * *

Back to the present

"Someone must have tipped him off, told him we were looking for him." Prentiss said.

"That would be the only explanation." Morgan added.

"Who knows were investigating these murders?" Hotch asked, looking for the rest. "We only talked to the sister, but it's not legitimate that she told our unsub that we were looking for him."

"So it must be one of our persons questioned." Reid concluded. "But that doesn't make sense, because none of them knew him for real." He narrowed his eyes, frowning, pondering. "Unless.. One of them lied. Of course."

"Who would do something like that?" Morgan asked.

"I'll call Garcia. Ask if she can pull up any phone records to the States of the people we interrogated." JJ said, before she walked away to make said phone call.

Prentiss thought of the people they had asked questions in the Netherlands. She tried to remember when her gut told her someone was not talking the truth, who had been lying. They were all very weird, but she had that behavior attributed to the fact that they were all a little autistic, if not really autistic at all. They all had in common that they avoided eye contact, but she figured that was just something mathematicians do.

A few hours later, Garcia called again, JJ putting her on speaker phone.

"Well, I checked all phone records of the people you questioned, and none of them made a phone call to the States. So I tried Stevens' phone, and he had an incoming call from the Netherlands two days ago. So I tracked that one down, but it belongs to a payphone."

"Did you f-.." Morgan started, but Garcia cut him off.

"The payphone is at least a mile from all of the houses of your persons questioned. This one knew what he was doing." Garcia said.

"Or she." Morgan added.

"Yeah, right, so I checked if some of them had purchased any tickets to the States the last months, and two of them did. But one of them went to California, with his parents. And the other went to New York by himself." She said.

"What's the latter's name?" JJ asked.

"Pieter Baan." Garcia said.

"That doesn't make sense. He was a friend of Van Vliet's." Morgan frowned.

"Maybe they'd gotten into a fight, or something." Prentiss suggested.

"Garcia, can you find out some things about Stevens' youth?" Hotch asked.

"I'm on it. Garcia out." And the line went dead.

"So, we've got nothing." Reid concluded. "Pieter Baan doesn't fit our profile, so we can rule him out." He paused, trailing off in thoughts again. "There must be something we've missed." He mumbled, looking at the photos, and the rest of the information they had. "Stevens grows up in the Netherlands, and changes his name as soon as he goes to the university. There must have been a reason. After, he moves to the same state as our fourth victim. And he knows about our investigation, and runs. I highly doubt he changed his name and moved to the States for two different reasons."

"We have to dig in his youth. We have to find out what made him change his name." Hotch stated.

They were sharing thoughts on the case, when JJ heard a familiar voice behind her. "JJ!" She turned around, and faced her boyfriend.

"Will, what are you doing here?" She knew she did not sound very enthusiastic, but that was how she felt. She was not enthusiastic.

"I thought I'd visit my lovely girlfriend." He grinned as he walked towards her, kissing her on her lips, which cut Emily to the quick. She had not liked them together before, but since they had kissed the night prior, she had become even more jealous than at first. And she hated that she was jealous, because that was a feeling she would do anything for to suppress. But she just could not. She felt guilty though, although she knew it took two persons to kiss. And JJ had not felt anything, had she?

"Will, I'm working on a case." JJ said, a little indignant. She did not want the Southern cop here. She felt a little ashamed of what she did last night. She betrayed the man. She betrayed his trust. Although, she did not feel guilty. And that made it even worse. Did she really doubt her love for this man? Did she really think she did not want to be with this man? Raise a child together? Her eyes caught a certain brunette at the other side of the table, but she could not read her mind. The walls around her did not let her through.

But this time, she did not have to. She knew how the older BAU member thought about her relationship with Will. She had not downright admit it, but she did not approve. JJ could see that. She did not approve of Will. Or did she approve of Will, but just not her relationship with him? Not the fact that she was having his baby? And if that was true, why would she not tell her? Even better, why would she not approve? The two of them had been friends for a year or so, but it was not that they were best friends.

But yet, she asked her about her relationship, and in return Emily had told her she was bisexual, so apparently, there was this kind of bond of trust. She did not know what that meant. Friends mostly did not kiss. _But this was just for experimentation, right?_ JJ thought. She had always wondered what it would be like, and Emily was just there at the right time. Or the wrong time, depending on the point of view. But she did not trust herself in this. She had liked it more than she should have.

When she was a teenager, she had more than once felt something for female friends of hers, but she had just thought it was friendship. She had thought that was normal when you were close. And she dated guys, handsome guys. And she kept telling herself it was the guys she liked; not her friends. Not the cute girl next door. And not some girl that asked her out when she was in some club. She had never tried something with a girl, because she thought she was straight. Or actually, _supposed to be_ straight.

Some part of her kept telling her no, but she always suppressed that feeling. She had learnt to live with the fact that she dated guys, although she thought women were much more attractive to her. But it always felt that something had been missing. She could love a man, but not like a lover. More like a brother, or a good friend. Never more. That was probably why she had never been in long-term relationships, until she met Will. The man she had been seeing for over a year and a half now. The man whose baby she carried.

The distance had made her stay with him. She was not smothered by his presence. The biggest of time, he stayed in New Orleans, and she would be wherever she were. That worked for her. The thought of him living with her made her want to flee, run away as far as she could. She would fly to another continent, if that made her problems go away, but she could not. She could not hurt the man. Somehow, she had the decency to stay with him, for him. She did not want to break the man's heart. And she did not want to break the heart of their unborn child.

"JJ, what's wrong with you? I've been talking to you, and you're just ignoring me." Will squeezed JJ's hand to draw her attention. She snapped up from her thoughts.

"What?"

"Why are you so absent-minded?" Will asked her, looking into her eyes. She could not lie to him. She could not. But she could not tell him the truth either. She could not tell her she was worrying about her relationship with him. Not in front of her colleagues, her family. In the corner of her eye, she saw Emily eyeing her, as if she was assessing the situation.

"We have a hard case." Emily said. "Little sleep, long hours." Emily noticed Morgan eyeing her suspiciously. This case had not been harder than others, or particularity difficult in any other way, than the fact that they could not find the unsub.

"Yeah, I guess I'm just tired." JJ took up the lie, sighing, trying to feign fatigue. She got on her feet to make her statement.

"Hey, but I have a room in a hotel a few blocks away. Aren't you coming with me?" Will asked, frowning, and a little disappointed.

"But all my stuff is upstairs." JJ uttered, not wanting to come with the man. She did not want to be in his presence. Not when she had so much to think about. She just did want to be in the same room with him, alone, not without Emily. _Wait, what?_ She thought. Well, it was only logical to think this way. Emily was her friend, who just helped her out of a situation, she did not want to confront.

"I'll get them. You just wait here." Will suggested, averting his gaze of his girlfriend, and facing the brunette. "Can you show me your room?" He just assumed that they were sharing a room. Emily did not want to, but she owed to the man, so she nodded, rising to her feet herself. From the corner of her eye, she saw JJ eyeing her concerned. She wanted to join the twosome, in all their awkwardness, but she could not tell to go with them, because that would raise suspicions with the Southern man. So Emily found herself walking the man upstairs, mostly in silence.

_If only he knew._ She thought. _If only he knew he was walking the woman who kissed his girlfriend last night, to the room where the whole thing had taken place. He would kill me if he knew. He loves her. He truly does. And JJ chose Will. It would not be fair to him to let JJ cheat on him. He did not deserve this._ She felt sick to the stomach. She felt so guilty for letting the blonde kissing her. Not only in her favor, but also in his. She could not lock out her dreams about the blonde, and the man next to her deserved to be treated better than this.

She had to talk to JJ.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: You are so awesome :) Reviews are great :D You're making me happier than you know. :) Enjoy this one!**

* * *

_**Chapter X**_

An hour later JJ and Will were in their hotel room, Will already laying in bed; JJ making herself ready to go to bed. She was in the bathroom, putting her hands on both sides of the sink, looking down at some water drops, slowly trailing off to the drain. She secretly hoped Will would have been asleep when she left the bathroom, but when she turned off the lights, and walked to the bed, he was still waiting for her. She situated herself next to him, and he snuggled into her back. His hand glided down to her abdomen, the warmth spreading on her skin. JJ closed her eyes. Not because she enjoyed the touch, but she tried to hold back her tears. She was lying to the man next to her.

"I'm so happy." He kissed her head. "And I'm so grateful we got the chance to start a family." Those words stung JJ. The guilt she felt; she could not lie to this man. That would be so cruel. This man, who would do anything to make her happy. This man, who was offering to quit his job to raise their child. This man, who loved her.

"Will." She whispered, as tears clung to her eyes. She was fighting to hold them back, but she just could not.

"What's wrong?" He turned the blonde around, facing him. He looked concerned, his eyes like a lost puppy's.

"I.." JJ started, closing her eyes again. "I kissed Emily last night." She might as well would have struck him with a hammer, because his face looked like she did. She kicked the lost puppy.

"What?" He distanced himself a little from JJ, furrowing his brows. "You did what?"

"I'm so sorry." JJ said, sitting up, as Will did.

"Why?" He asked bluntly. "What did I do wrong?" A few tears escaped her eyes, running across her cheeks.

"You did nothing wrong." She exhaled. "I did."

"JJ.. You have to be honest with me." He spoke clearly, his eyes telling her nothing but sadness. "Do you love me?" The lack of an answer told him enough. "Have you ever loved me?" His jaw wrinkled a little as he asked.

"Like a brother." She looked him in the eyes. Those empty eyes. They just stared back, like they stared into nothing. And that was partly true, because she felt like a nothing right now. She felt like she betrayed him, and she had.

"Why haven't you told me before?" He asked, still with that empty gaze on his face. She bit her lip.

"I didn't know." She exhaled. "I don't know what real love feels like." Did she see pity on his face?

"How did you find out?" _Another question she could not answer. _But her face spoke volumes. "And now?"

"I don't know." She sighed. She stroked her abdomen with her thumb. For the first time she told him she kissed Emily he touched her. He laid his hand on JJ's.

"We'll make it work." Emptiness had been replaced by hurt, she could see it in his eyes, in the way his jaw wrinkled as he talked.

"I never meant to hurt you." JJ bit her lip. "I tried to make it work."

"I know you won't just give up on something, on someone." He said, squeezing her hand softly before taking it back again. They sat on the bed, just staring into nothing, doing nothing, both of them not knowing how to make their first move. Both of them not knowing what to say. "I think you should go." She looked up in his eyes. The devastation she saw in them made her heart crumble. He did not even scream. He did not yell. But his calmness was far worse than anger. At this moment, she thought she would die, only because of guilt. It slowly ate his way through her body, making every inch of her body ache. She could not move.

* * *

Emily had just left the bar in the hotel, and was now lying on her back on the bed. She had not even bothered to take her clothes off. She just plumped down like that without even turning on the lamps. Or removing her make-up. She just laid there, staring at the ceiling. Why did Will show up today? Why did she not have her chance to talk to JJ? Well, she did; she just did not took it. She had the chance all day. In the plane. They had spent plenty of time together that day. Somehow she thought it would be best if she did not ever talk about the kiss again, like it never happened. It would be better to lock it up in a little box, and ship it off to Alaska, or some place else far away. Most likely, JJ would not even try to talk about it either. She would just stay with Will, because that would be the right thing to do. For her, for Will, for the baby.

But was it the right thing to do?

That question haunted her thoughts more than she wanted. She wished she could just turn off her thoughts. Although she hated not to be able to think. She wanted to wander off in the debts of her soul, exploring every dark side of it. She embraced her dark side, because it made her other side even brighter. _One's flaws define a person. One does not make decisions, because of one's perfections; it is the failure that causes us not to make the same mistake over and over again. It is default that makes us realize what is missing and what should exist, not the_ presence.

There was a knock on the door. She glanced at the clock. It was almost five in the morning. Was there another victim? A little reluctantly she got on her feet, and walked to the door, putting her hand on her gun, just in case. But when she opened the door, she saw the face of the familiar woman. The small blonde she was currently thinking about; the object of her pondering. She frowned.

"What are you doing here? Weren't you sharing a room with Will? Why do you have you bag with you?" But she knew the answers of the questions already. She could read it of the blonde's face, like an open book. There were tear stains on her face, her eyes swollen and teary red. She sighed. "Come in." She said as she steered the younger woman inside. She just waited till she started to talk, but it stayed quiet. A tension lingered over the place. Something was wrong, she could tell. She just had to find out what. But JJ's body language did not tell her more than that something was wrong. This could be anything.

"I told Will about our kiss." She whispered, her voice hoarse, probably of her crying.

"Did he kick you out?" That was all Emily managed to say. She did not know what to ask. But JJ just looked at the wall, as if they were telling her something. As if they were telling her the right thing to do. As if they were telling her that the choices she made this night were justified, were the right thing to do. She wanted confirmation; that she was not dreaming. That this was real.

"I told him that I don't love him."

If she had not just seen the younger woman's lips move, she had not believed she said them. They were barely audible. "You don't love him?"

"No. I don't think so." Her eyes were two empty spaces, but when she looked deeper, she saw the defeat in the younger woman's eyes. She had failed. Her job contained knowing people, when she did not even know herself anymore. She did not even know who she loved anymore. She did not know a thing about herself. It seemed as if her own mind had betrayed her. Although it was not her mind that had betrayed her, it was her own choices. She had pushed away those feelings her whole life, keeping it in a closet.

"I'm sorry." Emily said, making sure the blonde would hear those words. She needed her. "I'm here for you." Those words made a tear escape her eye and roll down the younger woman's face, but Emily wiped it away before reached her chin. "Everything will be okay, Jennifer." She whispered. After a moment of silence, JJ finally managed to say some words.

"I know." She exhaled. "Because you're here with me."

* * *

Julian Peters was pacing through the halls. He was pacing in despair. They had found his house. They knew who he was. They had found out he was the man who tortured those women. But how did they find out? The whole plan was airtight. Or was it not? Was there somewhere a slight chance that the plan contained leaks; small tiny leaks that the police found out about? The small leaks that led them to him; the brilliant Julian Peters.

Of course, he knew that they had found out about a connection with that Van Vliet girl, but never would he have known they would find out his name, and certainly not finding his real name and residence. Nobody had questioned his ID before. Nobody had find out before that his name was not really Fons Stevens. Never he would have thought they would find out about him. But they would never know why. They never would. His phone beeped. He received a text from this familiar person.

_'They were searching your house. They don't know about your current position. You're save.'_

He sighed in relief. Of course he was save where he was, but it was good to hear that something was going right today. He turned on the news and saw a blonde haired woman talking about a killer on the loose. She was talking about him; a tall man, dark blonde curly hair, Caucasian, late twenties. A photo of him appeared on the screen, which made him shudder. He vaguely heard the words of the woman, telling those people out there that he was targeting women working a public job, around a certain age; if you wanted to be careful when you went outside.

But he would not give up. This game was not over yet.

* * *

**I still want to know if you like this story line. :) If not, I'll change it. Hope you enjoyed this one. It was a little shorter than normal, but I thought this was a good ending of the chapter. I'll try to update sooner, but I was a little busy the last week (I had an exam), so I'll probably have more time from now on. (Except next week, because I will have another exam)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thanks a lot for the reviews :) jhickson001, I'm not gonna answer those questions yet ^^ But I'll give you some piece of the puzzle. Some piece of the beginning of the existence of our unsub. (that's a lot of ofs) I hope you like it :) Enjoy!**

* * *

_**Chapter XI**_

29 years earlier

Isabel Walters was a young woman. She had married the love of her life three years ago, and had their daughter a little over a year ago. They had been young and in love. But now, with her husband in China, she felt lonely. She had only her daughter, but her life felt so empty, with her husband not right beside her. Her husband was the CEO of a business company, and made a lot of money, but to keep the good work up, they had to win over one of their biggest competitors. In this case, that meant that he would be in China for a year, and she, Isabel Walters, his wife, lived with their daughter in the house alone.

Shortly after her pregnancy she was diagnosed with postnatal depression. It was not that she did not love their child, it was just that she never had the feeling that she really committed to the girl. Initially, she had disapproved of her husband moving to China for a year, but when she heard what the consequences were if he did not; she had agreed.

She was pondering her life over as she rocked her daughter against her chest. She was crying for half an hour right now. Her husband had always been the one of them to comfort her, but it was as if their daughter knew she was not going to see her father for a year. She just could not stop crying, and Isabel was almost getting desperate as she tried anything to console her child. But nothing worked. She decided to go for a walk. She did not know a lot about her daughter, but she knew she liked fresh air.

She strolled around with her daughter and the buggy, enjoying the weather. She always had a thing for January weather, although she did not know why. She sat down on a bench in the park, closing her eyes, feeling the wind on her face. She lost herself deep in thoughts, vaguely hearing the prattling of her one year old daughter, but it seemed to come from far. She snapped out of her thoughts as a man tried to get her attention.

"Excuse me, ma'am." He said, smiling. Her eyes met his grey eyes, and she felt a familiar spark in her gut, she had not felt in a long time. His smile was genuine, and she could not help but smile back.

"Yes?" She asked.

"I'm sorry to bother you." He smiled shyly. "I just thought you wanted to know that your daughter was playing over there." He pointed at somewhere behind him. "You seem a little absent-minded."

"Oh, no problem." She grinned. "Thanks, I am a little distracted, I think."

"I can see where your daughter gets her beauty from." He grinned too, right now, a little more confident than moments before. "What is her name?"

She knew she probably should have avoided this man; refused to talk to him. This man, who knew how to make her smile, while she had not smiled in a long time now. He just knew how to make her feel cherished, somehow. Somehow she closed the door, containing her husband and the life she led with him, and turned around, facing a knew door. Her hand reaching at the doorknob, desperately wanting to know what was at the other side. The new.. The familiar feeling of falling in love again. An escape from the loneliness she was suffering from. An escape from life, from reality. She reached her hand and grabbed the doorknob.

"Her name is Linda."

* * *

Emily was laying on her back, on her bed. JJ laid on her chest, and Emily had her arm wrapped around the younger woman protectively. She had fallen asleep only hours ago, after a long talk. The younger woman had admitted that she did not know who she was anymore. She did not know what she felt. She did not know a thing, but the fact that she had probably been living a lie, although she had not known it. All this time, she had been thinking she was this person, but it turned out she was not that person at all.

She listened to the steady breathing of JJ, and she could only be grateful she had finally been honest to herself; honest to Will, and honest to her, Emily. But she had to admit that there was a long road ahead of the blonde. She were to find out who she really was, and with whom she wanted to be with. Emily wanted to be the person to do that. She wanted to stand by next to the younger woman; help her, guide her, but she did not know if JJ wanted her to. She did not know if she wanted to let her in; let her help her, or if she wanted to solve this riddle herself.

She still secretly hoped that the blonde would fall for her, Emily. But she also the real world did not consist of fairy tales. Sometimes, it came close to it, but it was never quite perfect. She loved the younger woman with all her heart. She loved her so much, it almost ached her not to be with her. Especially when she got to taste a little piece of the reality she craved, the longing grew a little more. Piece by piece, filling her head with those fantasies she did not seem to be able to banish from her thoughts.

She wanted to wrap the blonde in her arms; telling that she loved her, telling that everything would be okay, and _know_ everything would be okay, because they would spend forever with each other. She wanted to tell her that she had nothing to be afraid of, because she finally knew who she was, and that was all that mattered. She wanted to kiss the tip of her head right before they would fall asleep together; or place a quick peck on the cheek right before work. She wanted to come home to this woman, every evening, although they would probably leave work together. She wanted to cry with the woman, and she wanted to laugh with the woman. She wanted to have those endless talks at night, about pretty much everything and nothing at the same time. She wanted to share all of her strangest and dirtiest secrets. She wanted to fight over laundry and groceries. She wanted the good and the bad, and would care for them equally. Although, she would probably like the good things more than the bad. She wanted to hold hands, also in public. She wanted to make love to the woman; and coming home with a bouquet, just to surprise her girlfriend. She wanted to go down on her knees, to ask her to marry her. She wanted to marry her, saying 'I do' in front of everyone they loved. She wanted to show the whole world how much she loved her.

"I love you." She sighed, not knowing that in her arms was lying a woman who was not asleep. She looked like she was, but she was not. She had been pondering about her life over the last few hours. And she thought Emily had fallen asleep by now. Or maybe she did fall asleep. Maybe she was just asleep as she said those words. That would be a right explanation. But if she were sleeping, and she were saying those words, she would probably mean them. She considered responding; to make sure Emily knew she heard her, but she just did not know what to say.

What did she feel about the woman under her? She was trying to figure it out the last couple of hours, but she still did not decide what that feeling was. She loved the brunette like a friend; like the best friend in the world. She loved her like a sister; she trusted her with every secret. She trusted her with every problem. She would tell her everything she was scared of. She would tell her secrets to that woman. She liked to be curled up in her arms; to be wrapped in those strong arms. She felt save in them. And every time the woman entered a room, she just could not help but looking. The confident strut Emily was walking, had always intrigued the blonde. She was always fascinated by the way the woman talked; the way her voice got a little husky when she talked about something personal.

And the kiss they had shared the night before, was the best kiss she ever had. It had awakened something in her body, that she never knew it even existed. It felt like she was drunk and high at the same time. Initially, she thought she was nauseated, but the feeling was way better than that. It was something you would not possibly be able to describe with any language. There are just no words powerful enough to illustrate what it was like. It was like there was a fire in her soul, that had never burnt before. It was a completely new feeling, but it felt so pleasant. But at the same time, it had scared her.

Hearing those words was just like another door that had opened for her. And Emily was the person standing behind it; nicely inviting her to come through. She wanted to take that step towards the door, but it seemed so far away yet. But she also knew sometimes illusions made distances seem wider, and humps seem higher. She knew she just had to try, in order to achieve something. In order to find out if those humps were really that high, and if that distance was not just one step away. Maybe that door was already open to welcome her, but she just did not know if she was that desired yet.

Underneath her, Emily was listening. She had said those words. Those words she was desperate to say to the blonde. The words she longed to phrase for so long now. She wanted the blonde to know, but at the same time, she did not want her to know. She was afraid JJ would reject her; would run away from her. Despise her maybe. But somehow in the back of her head, deep down there, she knew she would not do any of those. And the fact that the blonde's breathing had changed when she said those three incredible words, told her that they had gotten to her. The fact that she had not respond to them; frightened her a little, though. And she did not know if she had to say something; speak up, or be quiet. Maybe she would have thought the brunette was asleep.

"Jennifer?" Her voice husky and soft. JJ felt an electric shock flowing through her spine. Emily did not use her full name very often, but when she did, something just triggered inside her. The way she said it almost soothing her. Just a flicker of hope welling up in her body.

"Emily."

Three syllables; no question, no answer. Just one word.

"You're awake." Emily's voice was still husky, and soft; almost inaudible. She had almost stopped breathing when she heard her name. She had her question confirmed. The younger woman had heard those three words; her confession. Though she had not said them in return. But she could not expect such a thing. The woman had just left her boyfriend; and was probably more confused about everything she was or did than ever before. It was like a big plot twist in a good movie, but very much more real; very much scarier. Your whole life changed course, just in an instant. And you could not just stay on the wrong path, because that would make you terribly unhappy. You just had to deal with it, otherwise you would break down. You just had to face the truth; you just had to admit things were different than they used to be; or used to look like.

"I love you too."

* * *

**So, I only considered for a moment to end this chapter without those last four words.. But I thought that would be pretty mean. :)**

**By the way, I want to know what you think of this one ^^ Because I'm not entirely sure if it was too cheesy or too over-the-top or whatever.. I just don't know, so let me know. ^^**

**You are so awesome. :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I'm sorry it took so long to update this. It's just that last week I was horribly busy (exams and stuff) so I didn't have time to write. And I had to reread the story to see what I already said about the unsub and what I have to reveal yet. I rewrote this chapter like 5 times or so. It's a lot of Jemily and less about the case, but I hope that doesn't matter. Let me know what you think about this one. I want to know if I can do better. :)**

* * *

_**Chapter XII**_

As welcome as a warm inviting bed after not sleeping for two full days; as welcome as an ice-cold beer at the end of an incredibly hot day; as welcome as a pleasant bath when your muscles were sore; or as welcome as those three words you craved to hear. Those three words she dreamed of hearing the last days, months, and even years. Emily would easily put 'finding out the love of your life loves you back' on that list. On top. This was easily the best feeling she had ever experienced.

"You do?" She said, as she sat up, facing the blonde. JJ looked a bit shocked; stunned by her own words. She did not mean to say them so soon, but she also knew they were true. She had always loved the woman in front of her, although she had never realized it. She looked into dark eyes gazing into hers, and she just knew this was one of the true things in life. One of the things she did not have to think over, because she knew it was true. She loved her. And that kind of scared her, but she also knew she would learn to overcome that fear with Emily by her side. Emily was one of the bravest people she had ever known.

"Yes, I do. I love you." A tear ran down her cheek; Emily cupped JJ's face with her hand and wiped it away with her thumb. "It's been the first thing I'm sure of lately." She smiled weakly, but genuinely. She leaned against Emily's hand, feeling the warmth on her face. And finally, for the second time in two days, she kissed the brunette. And _damn_, that felt good. They only pulled out of the kiss, when they both felt the undeniable urge to breathe.

"You don't know how long I waited for this." Emily breathed, when she leaned her forehead against JJ's, and looked deep into blue eyes. The blonde's face changed into a grin, a smile that reached her eyes. The brunette could tell that maybe she was not entirely happy, because all of her sorrows and the heavy burden she was carrying, but she also knew it would be okay again. She was going to make sure that the blonde would be okay again, and eventually be happy again.

"Tell me."

"Tell what?"

"How long." JJ said, smiling weakly, looking into the brunette's eyes with devotion.

"I'm not gonna tell you this is love at first sight.. Although you certainly caught my eye after a whole day of waiting." A crooked grin formed on the older woman's face. "I think the first time I realized I'd fallen in love with you was a few months ago.." She paused for a moment, but when she saw JJ's inquiring gaze, she proceeded. "When Garcia was shot.. and we were all waiting for news in the hospital. I felt the urge to hold your hand. And when I felt the cold of your hand against the warmth of mine, I realized I wanted to warm your hands _so_ bad.. But not just then, just.." She stopped, as if she could not finish her sentence. She was afraid to say the word she was about to say. The word was echoing in her mind, as JJ spoke it out loud.

"Always." She breathed.

"Don't freak out." Emily looked into her eyes with concern. She sincerely hoped she had not spooked away the younger agent. Not so soon in their early relationship. Or whatever name should be given to the thing the two BAU members shared. She once told her partner about her dating skills, and that at some point she would say something geeky, and scare her 'relationship' away. She hoped with all her heart that she did not just do that with the person she would call her 'love of her life'. Although it might be somewhat soon to call her such a big thing. Maybe they turned out to be unsuitable; maybe everything that had happened the last few days was just an act in a fit of madness. Maybe it would not work out. Maybe they were not meant to be. But she did not want to find out so soon.

"Emily." She snapped the brunette back into reality. "Look at me." She had not noticed that when her mind drifted off, her gaze had drifted off too. She was looking at an insignificant point on the wall. Something that did not matter. Just a spot on an otherwise flawless wallpaper. But this mattered. And this was not flawless. It was as flawed as two human being could be; because nobody was perfect. That was something Emily found out long time ago. Everyone had her shortcomings. But that was okay; because if everybody was perfect, nobody would be different. Flaws define people. Therefore people are flawed. She once read something about surviving relatives. The things they remember most about their lost one are mostly their imperfections. "Emily!"

"What?" She looked up in confusion, meeting blue eyes. She noticed the blonde had her eyebrows furrowed.

"You were just gone for a moment." JJ laid her hand on the brunette's leg. "I wanted to say that I'm not freaking out. I actually think it's really sweet. I didn't know you were so romantic." She smiled with her eyes at the older woman, who put her hand on the younger one's; stroking her knuckles with her thumb.

"Nah, I'm actually very geeky when I have feelings for someone. And if I'm romantic, that's only because of you."

"Geeky indeed." The blonde haired woman chuckled. Emily pouted her lips in response, which JJ thought was insanely adorable for the otherwise badass agent. She could not withstand the urge to pull her in for a kiss on those lips. She tugged the pouting lip between her teeth, running her tongue playfully across her sensitive bottom lip, as she looked into brown eyes. Brown eyes, that darkened the instant tongue met lip; pupils dilating in titillation. But Emily would never just acknowledge her defeat. She would fight back.

She took the blonde's hands, pinning her on her back against the bed with her hands above her head, pulling out her lip and crashing her lips against the blonde's. When she lifted her head a little to allow herself and the blonde to breathe, she finally reacted to JJ's earlier observation.

"I'll show you how geeky I am."

* * *

29 years ago

She was not supposed to fall for another man, and certainly not to get pregnant from that same man. She was happily married to the man of her dreams. She had a daughter with said man. The man, who was at the other side of the world, for their own sake; to take care of his family. The family she was part of. She never should have given in to the urge to take the man home with her. She should have pushed him away when he first kissed her. But a voice in the back of her head told her it was okay; that it was okay to be loved by another man. But it was not okay. And it was certainly not okay to get pregnant.

She felt tainted. Every cell in her body hated what she had done. Her heart and soul infected by something she had never experienced before; betrayal. Even the word tasted bitter in her mouth. She had whispered the word to herself when she looked in the mirror. She just could not face herself anymore. She had called herself a liar, a cheater, a betrayer. And she was all those things. She could not deny it. She had been the adulterous woman she had vowed not ever to become. She had vowed to the man she truly loved, that she would only love him and no one else. And that was still true. She had only loved Hugo. She had never loved Gerard.

Even when the man was on top of her, she had thought of her husband. She had closed her eyes as the different man thrust his length inside her. She had drifted off in a daydream, about her family. Her husband, her daughter and herself. She had tried to fill a void. The void her husband had left when he took a plane to China. But instead of fulfilling her craving, she had extended the void. And her actions had caused her to feel something else; guilt. And the guilt was eating at her. She did not want to be remembered of her treacherous acts towards her husband nine months ago.

And now she was standing in front of the house; Gerard Peters' house. She was holding what appeared to be a bundle of cloths, but in fact it was a baby. The outcome of the actions of an adulterous woman. The had decided she would never tell Hugo about this mistake. As if the little creature in her arms knew he was about to be given up, he cried. With an aching heart, body and soul, she walked to the door and carefully put the boy on the doormat, along with his birth certificate and a letter to explain what happened. One last kiss on the forehead, and she decided not to ever look back at this lapse.

* * *

Back to the present

The next morning the BAU team met at the precinct of Toledo's police department. They had gathered all of their information so far, but it did not go as well as they hoped it would be. The unsub was still on the streets and they did not know where to find him. They also did not know why this guy would do such a thing. Everything pointed at a joint history between the unsub and the fourth victim, but they could not find a reason bad enough to kill for. There had to be a reason for the unsub to adopt a fake name before he went to the university, where he met said fourth victim, Marie van Vliet. The group of special agents snapped up from their thoughts and concoctions when Hotch's phone rang.

"Garcia, you're on speaker."

"You guys are gonna love me." She said. The other agents could just hear her grin in her voice. "So, I made some phone calls and pulled some strings.. And I found out there's about as much information on Julian Peters as his alter ego Fons Stevens."

"Baby girl, we love you, but what's the good news?" Morgan asked.

"Well, I found his birth certificate.. And the strange thing about it is that it doesn't mention the name of his mother." She paused for a few seconds. They could hear the clicking of the keys. "But it does mention his father.. He died, but he was a bee keeper."

"When did he die?" Reid asked.

"September 2006. Heart attack."

"So, two years ago." Reid mentioned as a matter of fact.

"Was that all you could find, Garcia?" Hotch asked.

"Everything worth mentioning, sir."

"Alright. Look what else you can find on them."

"Okay. Garcia out." When they dial tone sounded, Reid was the first to say something.

"Do you think he killed his own father?"

"Possible. But why?" Morgan answered, before posing a new question.

"He probably hated the guy. The fact that his birth certificate doesn't mention a birth mother, indicates the lack of a mother figure in his life. Maybe she abandoned the two of them." Prentiss suggested.

"The father never really bonded to his son. Maybe he even blamed him for the woman leaving him. And ruined his childhood." JJ added.

"That still leaves us with Van Vliet's death." Rossi said.

* * *

**I hope you're all satisfied with the Jemily development. If you're not, let me know (too slow, too fast). Maybe I can change a little here and there. If you want to see something, let me know too. Well, I hope you enjoyed it. ^^**


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